Dear New Candidate:

[crisper]

Despite the certain fact that you're going to amount to little more than a sad joke this time around the election merry-go-round, I find myself really, genuinely looking forward to the day that your name is no longer considered newsworthy even on a totally news-free day. Consider dying in a car crash. At least then, we'd get a nicely ironic story out of it.

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For consideration: one more relic of the final days of *last* century still desperately trying to be noticed in this one