(no subject)
God, I cannot concentrate on anything!
I really just want to go home and sleep.. but that's just the depression talking.
I've been sleeping a lot lately.
Dreams... God, the dreams need to stop. NOW!
I can usually make out what my mind/the universe is trying to tell me, but I cannot seem to comprehend what I'm supposed to learn from them.
So many things going on at once. So many things going on in my head. I just want to stop thinking, stop breathing, stop being, for just a few minutes. Just a few minutes where nothing, absolutely NOTHING matters. That is what I want right now. But that cannot be, so I am stuck being the way that I am.
Impatient me. Stupid me.
God, help me. I'm losing my mind! I don't know what to do anymore. Nothing I do works in my favor, ever. Whether I try, or not, nothing ever seems to work out the way I want. And, I know, it never works out the way I WANT because it is working out the way it is SUPPOSED to, but I'm still upset that I rarely ever get what I want. There are so many people out there who get what they want, when they want, and it sickens me. It's always the people who are completely self-serving. Maybe that's my problem. I need to stop worrying about others and focus compeltely on myself and getting what I want for myself. NO. Fuck that. That's not me in any way. I mean, I have selfish tendencies, but, for the most part, I think about what I am doing and how that will impact others. I'm screwed, aren't I?
And as far as other people... They suck. I don't know why I feel that I need others in my life. I really shouldn't. They always end up pissing me off, disappointing me and letting me down. I have let my fair share of people down, but I try. It's as if people just can't be bothered with trying anymore. If it doesn't serve them in some way, they don't give a flying fuck. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it all.
.............
I'm tired of being here...
I really just want to go home and sleep.. but that's just the depression talking.
I've been sleeping a lot lately.
Dreams... God, the dreams need to stop. NOW!
I can usually make out what my mind/the universe is trying to tell me, but I cannot seem to comprehend what I'm supposed to learn from them.
So many things going on at once. So many things going on in my head. I just want to stop thinking, stop breathing, stop being, for just a few minutes. Just a few minutes where nothing, absolutely NOTHING matters. That is what I want right now. But that cannot be, so I am stuck being the way that I am.
Impatient me. Stupid me.
God, help me. I'm losing my mind! I don't know what to do anymore. Nothing I do works in my favor, ever. Whether I try, or not, nothing ever seems to work out the way I want. And, I know, it never works out the way I WANT because it is working out the way it is SUPPOSED to, but I'm still upset that I rarely ever get what I want. There are so many people out there who get what they want, when they want, and it sickens me. It's always the people who are completely self-serving. Maybe that's my problem. I need to stop worrying about others and focus compeltely on myself and getting what I want for myself. NO. Fuck that. That's not me in any way. I mean, I have selfish tendencies, but, for the most part, I think about what I am doing and how that will impact others. I'm screwed, aren't I?
And as far as other people... They suck. I don't know why I feel that I need others in my life. I really shouldn't. They always end up pissing me off, disappointing me and letting me down. I have let my fair share of people down, but I try. It's as if people just can't be bothered with trying anymore. If it doesn't serve them in some way, they don't give a flying fuck. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it all.
.............
I'm tired of being here...