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Title: Lead Us Not Into Temptation
Author/Artist: crimsondream13
Fandom: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Spain/Romano
Rating: T
Warnings: This could offend you with the sudden mention of the Latin ‘Our Father’ in the aftermath of sex. And there’s also the title. Yeah you get what I mean. :l
Summary: Denial had never come in a human package more perfect than Antonio Fernandez Carriedo. Sequel to Through My Fault.
Spain's POV
No.
It couldn’t be.
“Lovino, what- what are you saying?” I speak in a weak tone, eyes wide in confusion and anxiety as I reach forward to touch you. It couldn’t be, Lovino. We were in love, weren’t we? You love me, I know it.
You only shake your head in response, gripping the cross dangling across your neck as you start muttering again, “Pater noster, qui es in caelis; sanctificetur Nomen Tuum-”
“Lovino!” I cry out in panic, pulling your hands apart and holding them in my own larger ones. “What’s wrong? What- what did I do? Lovino, please, tell me.” I feel the cold sweat on my skin as I watch you, feel my heart constricting as I see the tears in your eyes. What did I do wrong, Lovino?
You stifle a sob at that, eyes clenched shut as you scream, “How- how can you love someone like me? How?! I can’t- I don’t understand, Antonio.” Your voice weakens as you finish speaking and I let out a breath, smiling shakily as I bring your hands to my lips. So that was it? You were just feeling insecure?
I notice you flinching when I kiss the back of your palm and my smile fades momentarily. No, no, you love me. You were just...you were just feeling insecure because, after all, you’ve always had low self-esteem, haven’t you? Yes, that was it.
“It’s because you’re you, Lovino.” I force myself to smile again, stroking your hands as I continue, “Love...there’s no reason or logic when you love someone. You just fall in love. You’re handsome, you’re charming, a bit cute-” I smile a bit more naturally when you shoot a weak glare at me -“but that’s just not it. I love you because I just do, Lovi. There can’t be a reason.”
The tears are in your eyes again and I feel a bit more confident, so I move forward to hug you. You tense at first, but you slowly relax into my embrace. That comforts me, though there was still that niggling feeling inside me that said, ‘But why isn’t he hugging me back?’ You were just tired, that’s all. As long as you still let me touch you, still let me love you- it was fine. I was content with that.
“You don’t mind? That...that we’re sinning?” You mutter into my shoulder with a hint of exhaustion, eyes already starting to look bloodshot from all the tears you’ve shed.
Sinning?
I froze in realization, pulling back a bit to hold you by the shoulders. Sinning? How- is that why you’re pushing me away? Because you think this is wrong?
Because, I feel my chest ache at the thought, you’re ashamed of us?
You bring a hand up to wipe at your face that was wet with tears and sweat, eyes staring at nothing as you let the question hang in the air. Is that why you’ve never let me be affectionate towards you in public? Is that why you’ve never admitted to anyone that we’re together? Is that why you’re still keeping our relationship a secret?
Suddenly, it all made sense.
“Lovino, it’s not...” I clear my throat to remove the raspy tone from my voice, “It’s not a sin. We love each other...and loving someone isn’t a sin. No matter who you fall in love with.” I finish with determination, though I couldn’t help but feel nervous when you looked away as I said, “We love each other.” I was just worrying too much, as always. I know that you love me.
“Really?” You question with eyes looking up at me, hands still fumbling to wipe away the remaining tears on your face. Your voice is weak as you mutter, “I’m not a sinner..?”
“You’re not, Lovi.” I nodded firmly, stroking your cheek gently while pressing a soft kiss to your head. “I love you so, so much. Don’t-” I choke back a sob “-don’t scare me like that again, okay?”
You pause before answering and I tense, silently begging in my head, Please, Lovi, don’t do this to me. I love you, don’t leave me, please-
“I love you too.” You whisper in a weak tone, eyes downcast while fidgeting with the bed sheets. “I just- I didn’t think you’d...you’d actually love me, and not just...not just for my body.” Your cheeks are flushed when you say this and I let out the breath that I didn’t know I was holding, finally feeling more relaxed after your confession. If you’d said that you didn’t love me, I don’t know what I’d do.
I smile without forcing myself to this time, kissing your forehead while I murmur, “Don’t worry, Lovi. I’ll love you, no matter what you look like.” I pause at that before adding with an innocent grin, “I always did think that you look cuter when you’re chubby.”
You blush harder at that, shooting a glare at me while stuffing a pillow in my face. “Whatever, idiot.”
I’ll love you no matter what happens, Lovino. No matter what.
=========================
Romano's POV
I’m so sorry, Antonio. I’m so sorry for lying to you.
But you look so happy now that I’ve said those three words -“I love you”-, and I can’t refuse you your happiness, you know that. After everything I’d done to you, after all the times that I’ve been a brat and you had to take care of me...I can’t take those words back, Antonio.
Just...it wasn’t a complete lie, was it? Because if I didn’t love you, why the fuck would I even go out of my way to make sure you were happy? Why would I even get in a romantic relationship with you that I didn’t want just because I want you to be happy?
It’s because I care about you, Antonio. I love you. But I just don’t love you in that way.
You’ve been my father, my big brother for years and suddenly-
We became this. Because you were so persistent, Antonio. I’ve done what I could to push you away, to make you regret falling in love with me- but what happened?
You wouldn’t give up.
There were only two choices left for me then. One: leave you and forget even having any relation with you at all or; two: just let it be and see where our relationship goes. From the problem I’m having right now, it should be clear that I chose the second option.
So why didn’t I just choose the first one? Why did I have to make it harder on myself and on you?
It’s because I wanted you, Antonio. Forgetting you was just- I couldn’t handle it. You’ve been there for most of my life that you were almost permanent; your presence is practically a necessity to me now, something I’ve taken comfort in since I was a child.
And you knew that. That’s why you’ve never given up, isn’t it? You were so sure that I’d fall in love with you like you have with me.
But you were wrong. I wanted you, Antonio. I lusted after you.
I never fell in love with you.
Now I have all the time in the world to regret ever letting you use me like this- because I sure as hell knew that you were too much of a stubborn fucking idiot to let someone you love go.
===========================================
A/N: Yeaaaaah I’m sorry that I suck. I just hate happy endings when it comes to Spamano, ffft. orz
Reviews are very much appreciated! xD Even if I disappointed some of you readers, pffffft. /dies
If there are any mistakes, please tell me as well! I was rushed when I made this so I couldn’t check. ;;
Author/Artist: crimsondream13
Fandom: Axis Powers Hetalia
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Spain/Romano
Rating: T
Warnings: This could offend you with the sudden mention of the Latin ‘Our Father’ in the aftermath of sex. And there’s also the title. Yeah you get what I mean. :l
Summary: Denial had never come in a human package more perfect than Antonio Fernandez Carriedo. Sequel to Through My Fault.
Spain's POV
No.
It couldn’t be.
“Lovino, what- what are you saying?” I speak in a weak tone, eyes wide in confusion and anxiety as I reach forward to touch you. It couldn’t be, Lovino. We were in love, weren’t we? You love me, I know it.
You only shake your head in response, gripping the cross dangling across your neck as you start muttering again, “Pater noster, qui es in caelis; sanctificetur Nomen Tuum-”
“Lovino!” I cry out in panic, pulling your hands apart and holding them in my own larger ones. “What’s wrong? What- what did I do? Lovino, please, tell me.” I feel the cold sweat on my skin as I watch you, feel my heart constricting as I see the tears in your eyes. What did I do wrong, Lovino?
You stifle a sob at that, eyes clenched shut as you scream, “How- how can you love someone like me? How?! I can’t- I don’t understand, Antonio.” Your voice weakens as you finish speaking and I let out a breath, smiling shakily as I bring your hands to my lips. So that was it? You were just feeling insecure?
I notice you flinching when I kiss the back of your palm and my smile fades momentarily. No, no, you love me. You were just...you were just feeling insecure because, after all, you’ve always had low self-esteem, haven’t you? Yes, that was it.
“It’s because you’re you, Lovino.” I force myself to smile again, stroking your hands as I continue, “Love...there’s no reason or logic when you love someone. You just fall in love. You’re handsome, you’re charming, a bit cute-” I smile a bit more naturally when you shoot a weak glare at me -“but that’s just not it. I love you because I just do, Lovi. There can’t be a reason.”
The tears are in your eyes again and I feel a bit more confident, so I move forward to hug you. You tense at first, but you slowly relax into my embrace. That comforts me, though there was still that niggling feeling inside me that said, ‘But why isn’t he hugging me back?’ You were just tired, that’s all. As long as you still let me touch you, still let me love you- it was fine. I was content with that.
“You don’t mind? That...that we’re sinning?” You mutter into my shoulder with a hint of exhaustion, eyes already starting to look bloodshot from all the tears you’ve shed.
Sinning?
I froze in realization, pulling back a bit to hold you by the shoulders. Sinning? How- is that why you’re pushing me away? Because you think this is wrong?
Because, I feel my chest ache at the thought, you’re ashamed of us?
You bring a hand up to wipe at your face that was wet with tears and sweat, eyes staring at nothing as you let the question hang in the air. Is that why you’ve never let me be affectionate towards you in public? Is that why you’ve never admitted to anyone that we’re together? Is that why you’re still keeping our relationship a secret?
Suddenly, it all made sense.
“Lovino, it’s not...” I clear my throat to remove the raspy tone from my voice, “It’s not a sin. We love each other...and loving someone isn’t a sin. No matter who you fall in love with.” I finish with determination, though I couldn’t help but feel nervous when you looked away as I said, “We love each other.” I was just worrying too much, as always. I know that you love me.
“Really?” You question with eyes looking up at me, hands still fumbling to wipe away the remaining tears on your face. Your voice is weak as you mutter, “I’m not a sinner..?”
“You’re not, Lovi.” I nodded firmly, stroking your cheek gently while pressing a soft kiss to your head. “I love you so, so much. Don’t-” I choke back a sob “-don’t scare me like that again, okay?”
You pause before answering and I tense, silently begging in my head, Please, Lovi, don’t do this to me. I love you, don’t leave me, please-
“I love you too.” You whisper in a weak tone, eyes downcast while fidgeting with the bed sheets. “I just- I didn’t think you’d...you’d actually love me, and not just...not just for my body.” Your cheeks are flushed when you say this and I let out the breath that I didn’t know I was holding, finally feeling more relaxed after your confession. If you’d said that you didn’t love me, I don’t know what I’d do.
I smile without forcing myself to this time, kissing your forehead while I murmur, “Don’t worry, Lovi. I’ll love you, no matter what you look like.” I pause at that before adding with an innocent grin, “I always did think that you look cuter when you’re chubby.”
You blush harder at that, shooting a glare at me while stuffing a pillow in my face. “Whatever, idiot.”
I’ll love you no matter what happens, Lovino. No matter what.
=========================
Romano's POV
I’m so sorry, Antonio. I’m so sorry for lying to you.
But you look so happy now that I’ve said those three words -“I love you”-, and I can’t refuse you your happiness, you know that. After everything I’d done to you, after all the times that I’ve been a brat and you had to take care of me...I can’t take those words back, Antonio.
Just...it wasn’t a complete lie, was it? Because if I didn’t love you, why the fuck would I even go out of my way to make sure you were happy? Why would I even get in a romantic relationship with you that I didn’t want just because I want you to be happy?
It’s because I care about you, Antonio. I love you. But I just don’t love you in that way.
You’ve been my father, my big brother for years and suddenly-
We became this. Because you were so persistent, Antonio. I’ve done what I could to push you away, to make you regret falling in love with me- but what happened?
You wouldn’t give up.
There were only two choices left for me then. One: leave you and forget even having any relation with you at all or; two: just let it be and see where our relationship goes. From the problem I’m having right now, it should be clear that I chose the second option.
So why didn’t I just choose the first one? Why did I have to make it harder on myself and on you?
It’s because I wanted you, Antonio. Forgetting you was just- I couldn’t handle it. You’ve been there for most of my life that you were almost permanent; your presence is practically a necessity to me now, something I’ve taken comfort in since I was a child.
And you knew that. That’s why you’ve never given up, isn’t it? You were so sure that I’d fall in love with you like you have with me.
But you were wrong. I wanted you, Antonio. I lusted after you.
I never fell in love with you.
Now I have all the time in the world to regret ever letting you use me like this- because I sure as hell knew that you were too much of a stubborn fucking idiot to let someone you love go.
===========================================
A/N: Yeaaaaah I’m sorry that I suck. I just hate happy endings when it comes to Spamano, ffft. orz
Reviews are very much appreciated! xD Even if I disappointed some of you readers, pffffft. /dies
If there are any mistakes, please tell me as well! I was rushed when I made this so I couldn’t check. ;;