"Remember the first time i told you i love you? it was raining hard and you never heard..."
I think back on the past month or so of entries...i haven't been very interesting, eh? I don't know...I guess if i think about it i feel so drained all of a sudden. Things just aren't the same. I feel almost like i'm hiding again.
What happened to you nofinalemotion? You were supposed to tear down my walls...and i haven't heard from you nearly at all since you've returned...And the little bit of wall that's been torn down has resurfaced...
I became so motivated at one point...and then it just sort of faded off like everything else.....I don't like that. But, i guess it's good that i recognize it. I think my main problem is that i keep relying on everyone else to give myself motivation...I keep relying on others to help me get off my ass and accomplish things...and you know what? it's gotten me nowhere...
I'm going to say this. I'm not going to promise it. You know i don't make promises that i can't keep. And what good is it if i can't even keep promises to myself? So, i will merely say that this is my goal:
I've got two weeks to finish packing up my shit. Kelly can only keep my beloved Brena for two weeks, and we're going to go get her tomorrow. So, that gives me two weeks. At that point, i'll probly need somewhere else to stay...Also, i've got those two weeks to get my car. I need something to drive if i'm finally leaving here. I also am going to start getting up early every day and working on getting myself in better shape. I know i'm not fat, don't start telling me this people. But, i'm not happy with myself. And that's what matters. These are my goals. I've got three alarm clocks. One of them has to work...
As far as today goes, for those of you who care, it was alrite. I was supposed to go get Brena today, but i turned my phone off in my sleep, so everyone who tried to call and wake me, tried to no avail. So, yeah...got up late, got all pissy at people for no apparent reason [go me], went to work where i wasted time, and played around when i probly shouldn't have. And now i'm here. Baked this "friendship cake" thing with me Mum. It was quite loverly. Probly the most enjoyable part of my evening/day. Alex kept hitting my ear. I could've beaten him. Everytime someone hits it, it causes the entire side of my head to throb for a good ten minutes. The most excruciating pain...
I guess that's all. Have a loverly evening.
"remember the last time i told you i love you?
it was warm and safe in opur perfect world..."
What happened to you nofinalemotion? You were supposed to tear down my walls...and i haven't heard from you nearly at all since you've returned...And the little bit of wall that's been torn down has resurfaced...
I became so motivated at one point...and then it just sort of faded off like everything else.....I don't like that. But, i guess it's good that i recognize it. I think my main problem is that i keep relying on everyone else to give myself motivation...I keep relying on others to help me get off my ass and accomplish things...and you know what? it's gotten me nowhere...
I'm going to say this. I'm not going to promise it. You know i don't make promises that i can't keep. And what good is it if i can't even keep promises to myself? So, i will merely say that this is my goal:
I've got two weeks to finish packing up my shit. Kelly can only keep my beloved Brena for two weeks, and we're going to go get her tomorrow. So, that gives me two weeks. At that point, i'll probly need somewhere else to stay...Also, i've got those two weeks to get my car. I need something to drive if i'm finally leaving here. I also am going to start getting up early every day and working on getting myself in better shape. I know i'm not fat, don't start telling me this people. But, i'm not happy with myself. And that's what matters. These are my goals. I've got three alarm clocks. One of them has to work...
As far as today goes, for those of you who care, it was alrite. I was supposed to go get Brena today, but i turned my phone off in my sleep, so everyone who tried to call and wake me, tried to no avail. So, yeah...got up late, got all pissy at people for no apparent reason [go me], went to work where i wasted time, and played around when i probly shouldn't have. And now i'm here. Baked this "friendship cake" thing with me Mum. It was quite loverly. Probly the most enjoyable part of my evening/day. Alex kept hitting my ear. I could've beaten him. Everytime someone hits it, it causes the entire side of my head to throb for a good ten minutes. The most excruciating pain...
I guess that's all. Have a loverly evening.
"remember the last time i told you i love you?
it was warm and safe in opur perfect world..."