(no subject)
i had the most amazing dream that i was having sex with a lovely, dark-skinned curvy lady; that i was in a theme park connected to silent hill that was full of empty hallways creepy from the whispers of ghosts; and that the melbourne anime convention was happening right next door, which i didn't attend because i find it boring as fuck, but people were cosplaying as robin and that made me happy. needless to say, it was one of those dreams that i was extremely reluctant to leave.
i realized today that i have saved up a decent amount of disposable income and that, if you go by the definition of 'free' as 'free to do whatever you like', i am, in a way, 'free'. this is a new concept to me. i've never really thought about freedom in application to myself. i think i've always thought of myself as a part of a set in a venn diagram; i'm constrained by various circles of things (like: finances, responsibilities, doubts) and can never really just... be. i'm the kind of person who (unfortunately) has become quite routine, who sees the next day as a basic repeat of the present day (with some slight variations). the fact that i could leave my job right now and decide to spontaneously buy a plane ticket to canada and wrestle a grizzly, and no one would really be able to stop me, is kinda scary and huge and amazing.