(( it covers up the poison that she hides
Oh my God, today.
Today I found out, with my bare feet, that some guys that had been drinking last night smashed a bottle on the floor outside my room. Today, after picking glass out of my feet, I waited for a bus that was ten minutes late that zoomed right past me when it saw me, forcing me to take a different bus and hobble from the stop to where I needed to be. Today, I got my glasses fixed, which is good minus the part where new prescriptions always make me dizzy and headache-y and sick. Today, both of my ears are infected from a long story involving my earrings. Today, I still have food poisoning from the cookie I ate two nights ago.
Today was basically an absolutely miserable day. This, coupled with random misfirings in my headspace; idk what's happening there. I don't think I'm happy anymore. I'm okay most of the time but I can feel myself sliding back; the number of times I've had to stop myself from hurting myself or crying in public this week is more than I've had for the entire three months that I was back in Hong Kong. Sometimes it feels so easy to lose hope. I keep trying to be better and nothing comes out of anything. I'm always going to be me. I can't get rid of myself. This is horrible and unfortunate.
/EMO
On the plus side, though: like I mentioned, my glasses are done. It's the weekend, so now I'll have time to do my essay, SLEEP, and revise road laws again. Tomorrow I'll be heading down to the city to watch a movie about ~*~*~*~FABULOUS DRAG QUEENS~*~*~*~, so that should be fun. Last night's movie, Mein Freund Aus Faro, was really quite depressing but it was also kinda amazing. I scarfed down a load of fast food last night because my stomach was hurting from hunger (later it hurt because of FOOD POISONING, ololol I can't win) and because I was in a rush to get into the movie, and as a result of this oily stuff makes me want to throw up again, which is incredibly good for my health. (Me not wanting to eat grease, I mean, not grease making me vomit.) I think I've lost a bit of weight around my face and hands. These are all good things and are making me happier now that I think about them.
I don't know how much weight I can lose. I want to lose a lot but I also have no willpower. I hate being curvy, though. Don't laugh; I really do dislike it. I think if I lost a ton of weight I could possibly be flat-chested (or at least flat enough that I can hide it without having to suffocate myself with tape when I want to crossdress), which makes me happy, but there's nothing that can be done with my hips short of smashing them with a sledgehammer and reconstructing them with far less bone involved. I think I can deal with still having kinda recognizably girly hips, though. I don't want to have a boy's figure; I just want to not have such an obviously feminine one.
... WHILE WE'RE SPEAKING OF WOMEN, let me pimp out a meme my friend made.
~The Ultimate Yaoi Pic Spam Meme~
ALL PENIS, ALL THE TIME yeah baybee.