I Hate people and they hate me too...but really it is all love.
It's hard to NOT look pissed-off when you are standing in line at the DMV or any other public county office line you really don't want to be in. It is even harder still to deal with the bowels of humanity that stand in these lines with you. But worst of all are the people who work at these places.
Every time I talk to them I swear my voice raises and octave and I melt into cheese. But the more dimples I flash the more hostile they got. At first I didn't understand it. The proper kindergarten training tells us play nice with the other kids, but really when someone is all nice in my face I usually want to punch them. See it's not the way you sound or how well you fill out the paper work, in fact it's not you at all. These people just fucking hate their jobs and the nicer you are, the happier you seem, which means your job rules compared to theirs and you become the ultimate villain in a bad B movie. So today at the county court office I went in with a new vibe. I call it the pissed off, stressed-out, I really hate my job-too act.
me: "I need a passport" *tired exasperated look*
court lady: "do you have all your paperwork?"
me:*hands over everything looking pissed*
court lady: "how’s your day going so far?"
me: "horrible. I’m late coming back from lunch, and now I have to pay for a rush on this stuff cuz it's late."
court lady: "I hear ya. Let me see if I can't rush this for you without the 128$ fee."
me:" man you'd make my week."
court lady: "oh trust me hun I've been there. don't worry about it I'll take care of this for you."
me: *appreciative nod*
court lady: *knowing wink*
I swear it was the I-hate-my-job vibe that did it...that and I let her feel my panties in the restroom (total lie).
Cricket Fact: I have no job right now which means I'm fucking broke. I am currently taking donations in the forms of alcohol and bad jokes....ready GO!
Every time I talk to them I swear my voice raises and octave and I melt into cheese. But the more dimples I flash the more hostile they got. At first I didn't understand it. The proper kindergarten training tells us play nice with the other kids, but really when someone is all nice in my face I usually want to punch them. See it's not the way you sound or how well you fill out the paper work, in fact it's not you at all. These people just fucking hate their jobs and the nicer you are, the happier you seem, which means your job rules compared to theirs and you become the ultimate villain in a bad B movie. So today at the county court office I went in with a new vibe. I call it the pissed off, stressed-out, I really hate my job-too act.
me: "I need a passport" *tired exasperated look*
court lady: "do you have all your paperwork?"
me:*hands over everything looking pissed*
court lady: "how’s your day going so far?"
me: "horrible. I’m late coming back from lunch, and now I have to pay for a rush on this stuff cuz it's late."
court lady: "I hear ya. Let me see if I can't rush this for you without the 128$ fee."
me:" man you'd make my week."
court lady: "oh trust me hun I've been there. don't worry about it I'll take care of this for you."
me: *appreciative nod*
court lady: *knowing wink*
I swear it was the I-hate-my-job vibe that did it...that and I let her feel my panties in the restroom (total lie).
Cricket Fact: I have no job right now which means I'm fucking broke. I am currently taking donations in the forms of alcohol and bad jokes....ready GO!