-_-
William (Red) Hall
Diagnosed: March 4th, 2002. Deceased: 5:30pm EST, March 22nd, 2004.
Cancer is a fickle thing...and my Grampa was another one of its victims. His struggle was hard, he was so strong...held on for us, until he couldn't anymore. I miss him...he lived all the way in Alberta, I visited him twice, and they were the best times of my short little life so far...living in midst of all the mountains...having fresh walks in the morning with the mountain air surrounding us, and the fog moving away upwards into the farther mountains. I miss how the sun used to set at around 11 in the summer, enough for barbeques that lasted late...
2 years he lasted with this demon inside of him, that was awesome...but no matter how prepared you are, it still comes as a shock, it still stabs you hard...fuck this isn't a good time for me at all...I feel like giving up, I have to stay here for my mom though...it wasn't her dad, but still...
The saddest thing in the world is that my aunt, his daughter, was on the plane, flying out to see him in Alberta when he passed...there was no way that she could have known, she had her cell phone, but my family thought that it would be best if she didn't know until she got off the plane...she must be devastated..I feel so bad for her...
I didn't even get a chance to talk to him before he passed, I just wanted to say that I love him...and I didn't get too...
Truly dark times are around me, fuck...i can't keep falling and pulling myself back up, it seems like something else is always there waiting for me..
My Great Uncle passed away October 22nd, 2003, exactly 5 months before Grampa...and the thing that scares me is that my birthday is a month today...April 22nd...I'm starting to think scary things...call me paranoid, but that is just freaky how my family is dying around me on the same day of the month as my birthday..
My dad is no where to be seen, I haven't talked to him forever, nor do I want to, but he still should know that his father passed away..
I don't know what to do, I remain emotionless in front of my mom, trying to keep my mind off of it, I never smile that much anymore, i put up this forcefield around me that shows something that I am not. I have to be strong and show no emotions, but in the late nights like these, my reflections make me show what I feel inside...
My mom is in the next room, sleeping, good place for her to be because I don't want her to have to worry about me, she has to take care of herself, with me helping.
I just want to curl up in my bed and never see the light of day again...god I wish that I could do that...
Diagnosed: March 4th, 2002. Deceased: 5:30pm EST, March 22nd, 2004.
Cancer is a fickle thing...and my Grampa was another one of its victims. His struggle was hard, he was so strong...held on for us, until he couldn't anymore. I miss him...he lived all the way in Alberta, I visited him twice, and they were the best times of my short little life so far...living in midst of all the mountains...having fresh walks in the morning with the mountain air surrounding us, and the fog moving away upwards into the farther mountains. I miss how the sun used to set at around 11 in the summer, enough for barbeques that lasted late...
2 years he lasted with this demon inside of him, that was awesome...but no matter how prepared you are, it still comes as a shock, it still stabs you hard...fuck this isn't a good time for me at all...I feel like giving up, I have to stay here for my mom though...it wasn't her dad, but still...
The saddest thing in the world is that my aunt, his daughter, was on the plane, flying out to see him in Alberta when he passed...there was no way that she could have known, she had her cell phone, but my family thought that it would be best if she didn't know until she got off the plane...she must be devastated..I feel so bad for her...
I didn't even get a chance to talk to him before he passed, I just wanted to say that I love him...and I didn't get too...
Truly dark times are around me, fuck...i can't keep falling and pulling myself back up, it seems like something else is always there waiting for me..
My Great Uncle passed away October 22nd, 2003, exactly 5 months before Grampa...and the thing that scares me is that my birthday is a month today...April 22nd...I'm starting to think scary things...call me paranoid, but that is just freaky how my family is dying around me on the same day of the month as my birthday..
My dad is no where to be seen, I haven't talked to him forever, nor do I want to, but he still should know that his father passed away..
I don't know what to do, I remain emotionless in front of my mom, trying to keep my mind off of it, I never smile that much anymore, i put up this forcefield around me that shows something that I am not. I have to be strong and show no emotions, but in the late nights like these, my reflections make me show what I feel inside...
My mom is in the next room, sleeping, good place for her to be because I don't want her to have to worry about me, she has to take care of herself, with me helping.
I just want to curl up in my bed and never see the light of day again...god I wish that I could do that...