Here we go again...@_@
Hmm, seems like depression has set it's evil claws upon me again...this sucks. I mean...I'm fine one day, and then the next I'm depressed and sad, it really doesn't make sense, and I'm sick of it.
I want to go back to being the way I was before, a happy and normal child, not one that sits his ass in front of the computer 24/7 doing nothing, nothing producting, just fucking reading and writing shit that doesn't matter. Sure, that stuff is ok in moderation...but I'm sick of doing it all the time. Before I used to be so athletic, loved school, GAH...as you can see by my previous entries, my mind is playing games on me, stupid mind.
Oh well...there really is nothing that I can do...just deal with it. But I have no clue how, I can't even rely on myself anymore, I cna't trust myself, I don't even know myself anymore. I think that it is my computer and the internet that has an effect on what I do. Before, if I was bored I used to read books on the couch, do more homework/study extra, clean, play sports, go bike riding, do my chores...but now...i'm nothing. Nothing is done on time, I have no energy to do anything. My mind is saying go, go, go but I just can't. Fuck this...
I'm done VH, I'm done everything, I can't take it anymore anyways, 'tis annoying...now, I'm thinking of just cutting the wire to my internet, so that when I am bored I do something constructive. Better unplug the wire before I 'accidently' cut it. lol. 'Fried Brent, get 'im while his hot. lol. Oh my...
Now, it's 4:12am...I NEVER used to be up this late...and I have no clue why I am...this is stupid. I'm droning on about useless things that I can prevent...but for some reason I can't. It's something that you loathe so much that you love it, and vice versa. hah...i'm a fucktard.
I want to go back to normal...
I want to go back to being the way I was before, a happy and normal child, not one that sits his ass in front of the computer 24/7 doing nothing, nothing producting, just fucking reading and writing shit that doesn't matter. Sure, that stuff is ok in moderation...but I'm sick of doing it all the time. Before I used to be so athletic, loved school, GAH...as you can see by my previous entries, my mind is playing games on me, stupid mind.
Oh well...there really is nothing that I can do...just deal with it. But I have no clue how, I can't even rely on myself anymore, I cna't trust myself, I don't even know myself anymore. I think that it is my computer and the internet that has an effect on what I do. Before, if I was bored I used to read books on the couch, do more homework/study extra, clean, play sports, go bike riding, do my chores...but now...i'm nothing. Nothing is done on time, I have no energy to do anything. My mind is saying go, go, go but I just can't. Fuck this...
I'm done VH, I'm done everything, I can't take it anymore anyways, 'tis annoying...now, I'm thinking of just cutting the wire to my internet, so that when I am bored I do something constructive. Better unplug the wire before I 'accidently' cut it. lol. 'Fried Brent, get 'im while his hot. lol. Oh my...
Now, it's 4:12am...I NEVER used to be up this late...and I have no clue why I am...this is stupid. I'm droning on about useless things that I can prevent...but for some reason I can't. It's something that you loathe so much that you love it, and vice versa. hah...i'm a fucktard.
I want to go back to normal...