All Bottled Up
I hate what I do whenever anything happens. I have all this stuff that I want to say, but can't/don't and wind up walking away with so much going on inside my head. I have no one to talk to about it because I don't really have anyone I would want to trust with all of my (many) problems and rants. Like when I have a fight with my dad I have so much that I want to say to him but I'm afraid of what he will do if I say it all. I know it will piss him off and he gets... unpredictable when he gets angry and I know that what I have to say will piss him off so I just walk away in "submission" and it kills me.
I don't want to always have to walk away, I want to be able to present my argument or at least talk about it with someone else. But instead I walk away steaming, and keep it all bottled up. I wind up two hours later having a conversation about it with myself in my head. That sounds like something a crazy person would do, but it's the only option I have. I am the only person I trust enough to bare my soul and I have to let some of the steam off somehow...
I don't want to always have to walk away, I want to be able to present my argument or at least talk about it with someone else. But instead I walk away steaming, and keep it all bottled up. I wind up two hours later having a conversation about it with myself in my head. That sounds like something a crazy person would do, but it's the only option I have. I am the only person I trust enough to bare my soul and I have to let some of the steam off somehow...