Doing It Right: Volume 2 (25/28)
Title: Doing It Right: Volume 2, Chapter 25: The Big Night, Part 1: Serenades Never Work
Author: creedogv
Rating: T
Summary: Santana was given the opportunity to correct her past mistakes with Brittany, and she succeeded, but now she’s haunted by dreams that drive her to continue righting wrongs. Junior prom is fast approaching, and Santana finds herself in the race, and all that it entails.
Pairing: Santana/Brittany
Word Count: ~4000
Spoilers: 2x20 “Prom Queen”
Author’s Note: Erg, I had to split chapters again. Rest assured that Chapter 26 will be out shortly, since it’s mostly written.
VOLUME 1
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6-1
Chapter 6-2
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16-1
Chapter 16-2
Chapter 17-1
Chapter 17-2
Chapter 18-1
Chapter 18-2
Chapter 19
VOLUME 2
Chapter 20
Chapter 21-1
Chapter 21-2
Chapter 22-1
Chapter 22-2
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
* * *
So here’s what you missed on Glee. Quinn is totally angling for prom queen, with Sam as her Ken doll of a running mate. Things are getting tough for them. First, Brittany told the school that Quinn was in love with Puck. Then The Muckraker made Quinn think that everyone thought she and Sam were doing the deed. She was oddly concerned about his rumor, because it turns out Sam was staying over at her house, because his folks got arrested. At first, Santana was helping her out with her campaign, but things are changing: “Vote Santittany for Prom Queens.” Artie and Genevieve broke up, but Artie’s not too broken up about it. Mike and Tina are totally in love, and so are Rachel and Finn, but none of them are running, so that’s that. April Rhodes came into town and offered Will a spot in her Broadway play, but even though both Holly and Emma encouraged him to do it, he of course decided to stay to take New Directions to Nationals. You big softie, Mr. Schue! And that’s what you missed on… Glee!
* * *
Will decided that Nationals would be put on the back burner. Sue had insisted, due to budget cuts, that New Directions would be the entertainment for junior prom. It was a lost cause trying to get the kids focused anyway since even Rachel was more concerned with prom than with the competition. It might have had something to do with the way she was talking Finn’s ear off about her idea for My Fair Lady-inspired prom outfits.
Puck was talking about the “killer” post-prom party he was throwing at his uncle’s house. In exchange for an invitation, he got Lauren Zizes to get the A/V club to set up a killer sound system. Artie asked him if he’d forgotten that he was a member of A/V, too. Puck cleverly deflected with the point that Lauren was the president of the club.
“Isn’t Karofsky Lauren’s date?” Mercedes asked worriedly.
“Uh…”
“Guys, really,” Kurt explained, “Dave and I have reconciled. We’ll just avoid each other. I’ll probably be too busy macking on my man.” Without looking, he held up his hand, which Santana high-fived with gusto. Luckily, she couldn’t see him wincing afterwards.
Puck continued with the description of how the house had a pool and how since they’d all be coming in formal wear, it was “suit-optional”. He was about to explain what libations would be available, but as the glee directors walked in, he switched midsentence explaining how “due to the recent rash of alcohol overconsumption at this school, I have decided that the party will be free of the intoxicating beverages that cause such undignified behavior and detrimental aftereffects to one’s health,” according to the note written on the inside of his wrist in Rachel’s handwriting.
Will seemed pleased. Holly remained suspicious.
Quinn took a seat on Santana’s left side. “So, I hear someone entered the prom queen race.”
“Yeah, about that…” Santana began, more apprehensive than would usually be expected of her.
“So, have you been sabotaging me this entire time?” Quinn asked.
“Q, listen, I swear I wasn’t planning on running at first. I wouldn’t win any votes by having an obvious beard as my running mate.” Trust me, I know. “But then Brittany insisted. This could be a chance for me to recoup some of my lost popularity. I could use the self-esteem boost.”
“And you don’t think I didn’t have some sins to rise above?” she asked her hands unconsciously shielding her stomach.
“Look, I’m a long shot, okay? I’m tired of talking to your face, so let’s just say may the best girl win, okay? Lucky for me, that’s Brittany.”
Quinn twisted her lips. “Actually, she probably deserves it more than either of us, but don’t think you’re getting my vote. Or sympathy.”
Santana scoffed. “Please. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
* * *
Sue seemed to be running the school via e-mail given the fact she was perpetually absent from her office, a sign glued to the glass door reading: “SEE FIGINS”.
Santana, Brittany, Will, and Rachel stood in Sue’s office, while Figgins made himself comfortable in the cushy office chair. “Now what was this about?” he asked finally, eyeing Rachel nervously.
“I’d like to run for prom queen,” Santana remarked.
“Well, you’re much later than the other candidates, but since there was no deadline, you can still give your application to Daniel Creek, the student body president.”
“Yeah, I’m all on top of that, but I need your stamp of approval to change the layout of the voting form. This is my running mate.” She indicated her girlfriend, who merrily waved. “There needs to be special instructions explaining to this school of half-wits that they can vote for two girls.”
“I see,” Figgins remarked reluctantly.
Santana tapped Rachel on the shoulder, and like a windup doll, she explained, “Mr. Figgins, I warn you that to deny these girls a chance to run together is a clear violation of their civil rights. As you know I have two gay dads who have very close ties to the ACLU…”
Figgins waved his hand to cut her off, grabbing a gavel-which turned out to be a small cheerleading trophy-on the desk. The base broke off; he tossed both pieces in the trash with a worried expression. “Listen, we live in a very conservative town, and if one of those forms were to find its way into the wrong hands, we’d be in a host of trouble. The form already allows for open voting. The best I can do is to have the center line that separates the male candidates from the female candidates removed. If you and Miss… Brittany are the two candidates with the larger quantity of votes, you will be awarded the double prom queen status you seek. My hands will be tied,” he explained coyly. Coy on the assistant principal came off as a little creepy.
Santana was not sated. “People are still gonna vote for a guy and a girl if we don’t tell them not to!”
“Then I suggest you make it part of your campaign to get your fellow students to vote for you and your date together.”
Santana crossed her arms with dissatisfaction.
* * *
Kurt was sitting at Breadstix with his boyfriend, beaming at the as-always uniform-clad boy. “Blaine Warbler, will you go to junior prom with me?”
Blaine was unsettlingly quiet. “Kurt, look, I’d love to go with you… I figure it might be fun except… I’m afraid it won’t be fun.”
Kurt was hurt. “I don’t understand.”
“When I first came out in junior high, I finally got my first boyfriend and we tried to go to a Sadie Hawkins dance together. Some guys… they beat the crap out of us.”
“I know the way I’ve described my school makes you think there’ll be a repeat, but I promise you, the anti-bullying league the GayLesbAll created has been very effective.”
Blaine took Kurt’s hand. “Kurt, we’re still really early in our relationship. I like the stage we’re in right now. I want to spend every moment I can sweeping you off your feet, and I can’t do that if I’m watching my back wondering if I’m gonna get kicked in the stomach by that Karofsky fellow.” Kurt didn’t answer; he just pulled his hands away. Blaine persisted. “I’m not ashamed to be with you, Kurt, obviously. I mean, we’re in a public restaurant right now. In fact, why do you even want to go to prom with the apes at your school? Let me plan an awesome night on the town for you, something that will put prom to shame.”
Kurt wasn’t sold. “You know, I believed all that stuff you said about being courageous.”
“Kurt, I meant it. I’ve been through it. But being brave doesn’t mean you walk into danger!”
Kurt got up from his seat. “I already bought the tickets! I already picked out a tuxedo that was going to turn heads! I’ve been making plans with Santana so that we could have an awesome gay double date before we showed up oh-so-fashionably late. For you. I’ll see you around, Blaine.”
He raced out of the restaurant, leaving Blaine staring into space.
The waitress walked up, “Welcome to Breadstix. My name is Sandy and I’ll be your waitress. Um, do you know what the other gentleman will be having to drink?”
“He won’t be staying,” Blaine answered distantly, “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to bring me a bottle of wine, would you?”
She eyed him skeptically. “I don’t suppose you have your ID?”
“Diet Coke, please. You might as well bring a pitcher of it,” he said darkly. He perked up for ten seconds to add, “And one of those delightful Italian soda. Blackberry. I cannot get enough of those.”
“Would you like cream in that?”
“What do you think?”
“Cream, it is. Can I get you an appetizer?”
Blaine’s momentarily bliss dissipated. “No, just bring me everything on the dessert menu.”
* * *
Santana was standing outside the Home Ec room with Puck and his guitar.
“On second thought, this is a stupid idea,” Santana remarked.
“Too late,” Puck replied, using a dinner knife he’d liberated from the cafeteria to pop the lock on the door. He shoved Santana inside and started playing the uptempo melody. The moment her eyes locked with Brittany, she had to agree with Puck’s assessment: it was too late.
Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall
Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she’s a beautiful girl
She’s a beautiful girl
And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm
On cue, Tina, who was sitting by Brittany, sang the echo to Santana’s song.
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me
The rest of the song was a blur, and before she knew it, Puck was playing the closing lines of the song. She was silent for a moment. Then Puck shoved a sunflower into her hand and gave her another push closer to Brittany. “Will you go to prom with me?” she finally asked.
She didn’t expect Brittany to race out of the room shielding her face with her hands. What she half-expected was the angry look on Mrs. Hagberg’s face. Thus, she high-tailed it out of the room as well, leaving Puck to attempt of flirt his way out of trouble.
Santana easily found the blonde in the nearest girls’ bathroom. “Britt-Britt…”
“Why would you do that?”
In retrospect, it didn’t work for Wheels either. “I just… I just wanted to show you how much I wanted to go with you… and how much I enjoy being your girlfriend. I thought it’d be cute if we asked each other. I’m a sap, okay? I’m a sap because I’m with you and I’m in love with you. And I just wanted to show everybody that.”
“You can’t stop thinking about everyone else, can you?”
Santana’s sympathy evaporated and she tossed the sunflower into the closest sink. “Brittany, I am not going to do this walking on eggshells thing with you anymore. You’ve been really hot and cold with me lately and I want to know why. I just serenaded you in front of your classmates and while I admit it’s a bit corny, there’s no reason to embarrass me more by racing out of the room. What the hell is going on with you?”
“Santana, the only reason you did that is because you wanted to make people vote for you for prom queen! It had nothing to do with me!”
“No, it wasn’t. What are you talking about?!”
Her tone full of frustration, Brittany exclaimed, “Santana, I know you love me! I’ve known for longer than you. But, lately, all you do is show everybody. I mean, first, you let us sing ‘Untouched’ together. And then you dragged me to Ms. Holliday so we could sing the astronaut song. And then you sang your not-about-sex song to me. And just last week, you sang ‘Songbird’ to me. You might as well carve it into the Wall of Truth: ‘Two Plus Two Equals Four’, ‘Dolphins Are Just Gay Sharks’, and ‘Santana Lopez Loves Brittany S. Pierce’.”
Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany’s neck. “I guess I am being a little clingy. But I totally would carve it into the wall. Maybe in the cafeteria?”
Calmer, Brittany smiled at that. “Santana, you’re kind of being a giant pussy. Of course I’ll go to prom with you. And, yeah, I’m definitely planning on making your prom night totally awesome. But I want you to be happy, and to be happy, we gotta win this thing. So, really, you should just focus on using your sneaky tactics. I’m no good at that.”
“Okay, because we’re dancing together at prom with crowns on our heads. I promise you that.”
God, I bet serenades never works.
* * *
At this point, back in the Home Ec room, Mrs. Hagbert was gone. Kurt was sitting at the front of the room, searching through a cookbook with distaste. Puck was flirting with a couple of girls in the back row.
Raj walked in with Artie in tow. “Hey, we early?”
“Nope, just in time,” Puck answered, not turning away from the giggling girls. “But you’ve got seven minutes before Nick Ferreira comes in here to sing ‘Down’ by Jay Sean.”
“Who to?” Artie wondered.
“Whatever junior girl will take him,” Puck remarked.
By this point, Raj had taken a seat on Kurt’s abandoned stool in front of a stunned Mercedes. “Hey, Artie, we gonna do this? Mercedes, I’ve got something to say and your glee friends were very kind to inform me the correct way to do this was in song, so if you don’t mind…?”
Mercedes, speechless, just shook her head.
God Blessed The Broken Road - Rascal Flatts
I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn’t see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
By the end of the song, Kurt was squealing with so much gaiety that he stumbled off the stool at the front of the room.
“Does mean you forgive me?” Mercedes asked.
“Yeah. I really like you, Mercedes. As long as you don’t have any other boyfriends hiding in the woodworks,” he joked.
“No, just you. I’m not that kind of girl, really. I just got… mixed up in something.”
“Yeah, your friend Quinn explained the situation. She said you’d had a thing for me for a while. In retrospect, I did kind of overreact.”
“No, you didn’t,” Mercedes replied, “But Quinn, she told you that?”
“Right before a rather persuasive and lengthy speech about why I should vote for her for prom queen.”
“Well, she just earned my vote.”
* * *
Artie rolled up to Genevieve McLaire. “Arthur,” she greeted him coldly.
“Genevieve, I thought we weren’t on bad terms. Blah, blah, blah, act break.”
She nodded thoughtfully. “I see your point.”
“I don’t,” Artie mumbled under his breath.
“So, what can I do for you?”
“Prom. We should go together. As friends.”
“I would consider it. Friends are like silver and gold, and it’s not like I couldn’t use the money. Fortunately, I already have a date.”
“How is that fortunate?”
“It’s fortunate for me. I’m viewing life through my own worldview only. To do otherwise would recognize the non-diegesis of the audience. It’s a theater thing; you wouldn’t understand.”
“Even though I know what all those words mean, I’m not 100 percent sure they make sense in that order…”
“I will be attending prom with Neil Norman.”
“I know that guy. He’s VP of the A/V club. He was on our Brainiacs and quit a week before Regionals. We had to replace him with Jacob Ben Israel. I’m pretty sure his glasses are decorative.”
“I can appreciate a good costume,” Genevieve explained, “also, as part of A/V club, he got us an invitation to a very exclusive after-prom party that he’s helping set up.”
Drolly, Artie explained, “For Noah Puckerman? Yeah, that’s the glee after-prom party.”
“Splendid. While I find that Rachel Berry girl absolutely repulsive, her tendency toward singing musical theater classics does mean I will rather enjoy the music.”
“Well, at least it won’t be awkward,” Artie noted ironically.
“I would think it would be. For you.”
“Yes, I know. I’m imagining it from your point of view. It’s called viewer-centered visualization. The audience is the only perspective you take into account when narrating a story. It’s a film thing; you wouldn’t understand.”
* * *
The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
I can’t help feeling
We could have had it all
“Jesse, what are you doing here?” Rachel asked, sitting next to her ex-boyfriend in the auditorium.
“Enforced sabbatical. My first semester at UCLA, my grade point average fell to below passing. At Carmel, I always had some Asian kid do my math and English and scientific for me. How was I supposed to know I had to show up for all those other classes? Anyway, luckily my personal assistant-slash-roommate didn’t throw away my probation letter from my bag of fan mail. To make up the credits, they’ve allowed me to do a work-study program. I’ve been visiting some of the most prestigious high school show choirs in the country. I would have visited McKinley earlier, but I had to work up the courage to come here.”
“That’s the first time you’ve admitted you were scared.”
“It’s probably the first time I ever have been. My parents raised me with a very controversial Saudi Arabian parenting technique. But I wasn’t scared of facing you, Rachel; I was scared you wouldn’t forgive me.”
“Vocal Adrenaline smashed eggs on my head. The baby chicks…” she whined.
A passing A/V club member with glasses condescendingly explained, “Chicken eggs are unfertilized. It’s no more a chick than your monthly visit from Aunt Flo is a baby. This is the second time today I’ve had to explain this.”
“Well, I can’t say I’m not honored that you’ve decided New Directions was worth your time. Though apparently not until two weeks before the competition.”
“In my defense, there was also the issue of Principal Sylvester haggling my consulting fee down.”
Suddenly, Jesse was on his knees. He took Rachel’s hand. “Rachel Barbra Berry, I beg your forgiveness. What I did was inexcusable. I betrayed your trust and the trust of your team. Even Dante considers betrayal the darkest of sins. But will you be angelic and pass onto me some undeserved forgiveness?”
Rachel nodded. “Jesse, of course I can forgive you, but don’t think that this means we’re going to get back together. I’m with Finn now, and we’re happy.”
Jesse nodded. “I was expecting that. Not that I think he deserves you, of course, but I’m aware that my betrayal must have left you feeling quite vulnerable, and he slipped in. Still, I have to allow you any happiness that I failed to provide for you.” He rewrapped his scarf around his neck dramatically.
“Have you spoken with Mr. Schuester yet?”
“No… could you please direct me to the choir room? It seems the everyday student doesn’t know where it is.”
“I’ll take you there.” As they walked, Rachel inquired offhandedly, “So, by any chance, have you spoken with Ms. Corcoran?”
Jesse paused before answering, “No, I tried to get into contact with her, but I… couldn’t.”
* * *
Mrs. Hagberg was in the principal’s office with Figgins, Santana, and Will. “She came in and disrupted my class to sing a song to her girlfriend.”
Santana had a frown on her face. “So what? I sang awesomely. And who cares who I was singing to?”
The Home Ec teacher scowled at her.
Figgins noted, “Thank you, Judith. I will handle it from here.”
Mrs. Hagbert sneered and excused herself, muttering about quiches.
“Vice Principal Figgins,” Santana pleaded, “this isn’t fair. That old witch wouldn’t have done anything if it were a boy singing to Brittany.”
“We don’t know that, Miss Lopez.”
I do. “Please tell me I’m not getting a detention from this.”
“Not at all. I find it a very charming gesture, one that I hope will replace the awful acts of bullying. Our janitorial budget is down nineteen percent because of your anti-bullying league.”
“So, I’m not in trouble?”
Figgin’s tone darkened slightly. “Well, that remains to be seen. I’m afraid I’m going to have to reverse my decision considering your prom proposal.”
“What?!” Santana cried out loud enough to be heard at the other end of the hall. Will took one step forward in case the Latina was coiling to strike, cobra-style.
“You were supposed to glide under the radar, Miss Lopez. The point of making you educate the students about your double-prom queen scheme was that it couldn’t come back to me. Or rather the school administration.” With great gloom and doom, he announced, “I am reinstating the line between the prom king and queen candidates. I will be instructing student council to elect a prom king and a prom queen.”
“That’s not fair!” Santana took one step forward and Will two.
“Neither is the backlash I’m going to receive from concerned parents if I openly advocate this LGBT issue. The junior prom is in two days. If a few parents petition for an emergency school board meeting, the prom will most likely be canceled and no one will be elected prom queen. And we will lose quite a bit of money from the nonrefundable deposits. You’re lucky this happened so late. We might have had to disallow same-sex couples from purchasing pair tickets. There are some very persuasive conservative groups in this town.”
Will finally stepped in. “Figgins, you’ve made your point. Now, in light of the rather trivial offense that she committed, and I think it’s fair that she remain on the ballot.”
“Fine,” Figgins answered.
Well, I’ve royalled screwed the pooch. My Britts’ gonna be so disappointed. She loves playing princess and I’ve taken away her crown.
Let’s just make sure one other thing doesn’t go wrong. “One more thing, sir. I’ve heard rumors of an underground movement to elect Kurt Hummel prom queen. If you dare read out his name, I will have your job.”
Furiously, the vice principal spat, “Miss Lopez, you would be wise to stop threatening me.”
“It’s not a threat. It’s a warning. You work for a vindictive woman who has a soft spot for Kurt.”
Figgins frowned, suitably frightened.
Santana walked out of the office in front of Will, keeping a brisk pace to avoid his inevitable attempt at comforting her. She found herself in the library. She pulled out a long-since vandalized copy of The Thunderclap 2006 and opened it to the Junior Prom Court picture: pretty blond girl in a pretty dress next to a handsome young man. They were wearing crowns.
Brittany would look good in a crown. ‘Would’ve’, I should say.
Chapter 26
Author: creedogv
Rating: T
Summary: Santana was given the opportunity to correct her past mistakes with Brittany, and she succeeded, but now she’s haunted by dreams that drive her to continue righting wrongs. Junior prom is fast approaching, and Santana finds herself in the race, and all that it entails.
Pairing: Santana/Brittany
Word Count: ~4000
Spoilers: 2x20 “Prom Queen”
Author’s Note: Erg, I had to split chapters again. Rest assured that Chapter 26 will be out shortly, since it’s mostly written.
VOLUME 1
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6-1
Chapter 6-2
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16-1
Chapter 16-2
Chapter 17-1
Chapter 17-2
Chapter 18-1
Chapter 18-2
Chapter 19
VOLUME 2
Chapter 20
Chapter 21-1
Chapter 21-2
Chapter 22-1
Chapter 22-2
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
* * *
So here’s what you missed on Glee. Quinn is totally angling for prom queen, with Sam as her Ken doll of a running mate. Things are getting tough for them. First, Brittany told the school that Quinn was in love with Puck. Then The Muckraker made Quinn think that everyone thought she and Sam were doing the deed. She was oddly concerned about his rumor, because it turns out Sam was staying over at her house, because his folks got arrested. At first, Santana was helping her out with her campaign, but things are changing: “Vote Santittany for Prom Queens.” Artie and Genevieve broke up, but Artie’s not too broken up about it. Mike and Tina are totally in love, and so are Rachel and Finn, but none of them are running, so that’s that. April Rhodes came into town and offered Will a spot in her Broadway play, but even though both Holly and Emma encouraged him to do it, he of course decided to stay to take New Directions to Nationals. You big softie, Mr. Schue! And that’s what you missed on… Glee!
* * *
Will decided that Nationals would be put on the back burner. Sue had insisted, due to budget cuts, that New Directions would be the entertainment for junior prom. It was a lost cause trying to get the kids focused anyway since even Rachel was more concerned with prom than with the competition. It might have had something to do with the way she was talking Finn’s ear off about her idea for My Fair Lady-inspired prom outfits.
Puck was talking about the “killer” post-prom party he was throwing at his uncle’s house. In exchange for an invitation, he got Lauren Zizes to get the A/V club to set up a killer sound system. Artie asked him if he’d forgotten that he was a member of A/V, too. Puck cleverly deflected with the point that Lauren was the president of the club.
“Isn’t Karofsky Lauren’s date?” Mercedes asked worriedly.
“Uh…”
“Guys, really,” Kurt explained, “Dave and I have reconciled. We’ll just avoid each other. I’ll probably be too busy macking on my man.” Without looking, he held up his hand, which Santana high-fived with gusto. Luckily, she couldn’t see him wincing afterwards.
Puck continued with the description of how the house had a pool and how since they’d all be coming in formal wear, it was “suit-optional”. He was about to explain what libations would be available, but as the glee directors walked in, he switched midsentence explaining how “due to the recent rash of alcohol overconsumption at this school, I have decided that the party will be free of the intoxicating beverages that cause such undignified behavior and detrimental aftereffects to one’s health,” according to the note written on the inside of his wrist in Rachel’s handwriting.
Will seemed pleased. Holly remained suspicious.
Quinn took a seat on Santana’s left side. “So, I hear someone entered the prom queen race.”
“Yeah, about that…” Santana began, more apprehensive than would usually be expected of her.
“So, have you been sabotaging me this entire time?” Quinn asked.
“Q, listen, I swear I wasn’t planning on running at first. I wouldn’t win any votes by having an obvious beard as my running mate.” Trust me, I know. “But then Brittany insisted. This could be a chance for me to recoup some of my lost popularity. I could use the self-esteem boost.”
“And you don’t think I didn’t have some sins to rise above?” she asked her hands unconsciously shielding her stomach.
“Look, I’m a long shot, okay? I’m tired of talking to your face, so let’s just say may the best girl win, okay? Lucky for me, that’s Brittany.”
Quinn twisted her lips. “Actually, she probably deserves it more than either of us, but don’t think you’re getting my vote. Or sympathy.”
Santana scoffed. “Please. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
* * *
Sue seemed to be running the school via e-mail given the fact she was perpetually absent from her office, a sign glued to the glass door reading: “SEE FIGINS”.
Santana, Brittany, Will, and Rachel stood in Sue’s office, while Figgins made himself comfortable in the cushy office chair. “Now what was this about?” he asked finally, eyeing Rachel nervously.
“I’d like to run for prom queen,” Santana remarked.
“Well, you’re much later than the other candidates, but since there was no deadline, you can still give your application to Daniel Creek, the student body president.”
“Yeah, I’m all on top of that, but I need your stamp of approval to change the layout of the voting form. This is my running mate.” She indicated her girlfriend, who merrily waved. “There needs to be special instructions explaining to this school of half-wits that they can vote for two girls.”
“I see,” Figgins remarked reluctantly.
Santana tapped Rachel on the shoulder, and like a windup doll, she explained, “Mr. Figgins, I warn you that to deny these girls a chance to run together is a clear violation of their civil rights. As you know I have two gay dads who have very close ties to the ACLU…”
Figgins waved his hand to cut her off, grabbing a gavel-which turned out to be a small cheerleading trophy-on the desk. The base broke off; he tossed both pieces in the trash with a worried expression. “Listen, we live in a very conservative town, and if one of those forms were to find its way into the wrong hands, we’d be in a host of trouble. The form already allows for open voting. The best I can do is to have the center line that separates the male candidates from the female candidates removed. If you and Miss… Brittany are the two candidates with the larger quantity of votes, you will be awarded the double prom queen status you seek. My hands will be tied,” he explained coyly. Coy on the assistant principal came off as a little creepy.
Santana was not sated. “People are still gonna vote for a guy and a girl if we don’t tell them not to!”
“Then I suggest you make it part of your campaign to get your fellow students to vote for you and your date together.”
Santana crossed her arms with dissatisfaction.
* * *
Kurt was sitting at Breadstix with his boyfriend, beaming at the as-always uniform-clad boy. “Blaine Warbler, will you go to junior prom with me?”
Blaine was unsettlingly quiet. “Kurt, look, I’d love to go with you… I figure it might be fun except… I’m afraid it won’t be fun.”
Kurt was hurt. “I don’t understand.”
“When I first came out in junior high, I finally got my first boyfriend and we tried to go to a Sadie Hawkins dance together. Some guys… they beat the crap out of us.”
“I know the way I’ve described my school makes you think there’ll be a repeat, but I promise you, the anti-bullying league the GayLesbAll created has been very effective.”
Blaine took Kurt’s hand. “Kurt, we’re still really early in our relationship. I like the stage we’re in right now. I want to spend every moment I can sweeping you off your feet, and I can’t do that if I’m watching my back wondering if I’m gonna get kicked in the stomach by that Karofsky fellow.” Kurt didn’t answer; he just pulled his hands away. Blaine persisted. “I’m not ashamed to be with you, Kurt, obviously. I mean, we’re in a public restaurant right now. In fact, why do you even want to go to prom with the apes at your school? Let me plan an awesome night on the town for you, something that will put prom to shame.”
Kurt wasn’t sold. “You know, I believed all that stuff you said about being courageous.”
“Kurt, I meant it. I’ve been through it. But being brave doesn’t mean you walk into danger!”
Kurt got up from his seat. “I already bought the tickets! I already picked out a tuxedo that was going to turn heads! I’ve been making plans with Santana so that we could have an awesome gay double date before we showed up oh-so-fashionably late. For you. I’ll see you around, Blaine.”
He raced out of the restaurant, leaving Blaine staring into space.
The waitress walked up, “Welcome to Breadstix. My name is Sandy and I’ll be your waitress. Um, do you know what the other gentleman will be having to drink?”
“He won’t be staying,” Blaine answered distantly, “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to bring me a bottle of wine, would you?”
She eyed him skeptically. “I don’t suppose you have your ID?”
“Diet Coke, please. You might as well bring a pitcher of it,” he said darkly. He perked up for ten seconds to add, “And one of those delightful Italian soda. Blackberry. I cannot get enough of those.”
“Would you like cream in that?”
“What do you think?”
“Cream, it is. Can I get you an appetizer?”
Blaine’s momentarily bliss dissipated. “No, just bring me everything on the dessert menu.”
* * *
Santana was standing outside the Home Ec room with Puck and his guitar.
“On second thought, this is a stupid idea,” Santana remarked.
“Too late,” Puck replied, using a dinner knife he’d liberated from the cafeteria to pop the lock on the door. He shoved Santana inside and started playing the uptempo melody. The moment her eyes locked with Brittany, she had to agree with Puck’s assessment: it was too late.
Suddenly I See - KT Tunstall
Her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she’s a beautiful girl
She’s a beautiful girl
And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm
On cue, Tina, who was sitting by Brittany, sang the echo to Santana’s song.
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
This is what I wanna be
Suddenly I see (Suddenly I see)
Why the hell it means so much to me
The rest of the song was a blur, and before she knew it, Puck was playing the closing lines of the song. She was silent for a moment. Then Puck shoved a sunflower into her hand and gave her another push closer to Brittany. “Will you go to prom with me?” she finally asked.
She didn’t expect Brittany to race out of the room shielding her face with her hands. What she half-expected was the angry look on Mrs. Hagberg’s face. Thus, she high-tailed it out of the room as well, leaving Puck to attempt of flirt his way out of trouble.
Santana easily found the blonde in the nearest girls’ bathroom. “Britt-Britt…”
“Why would you do that?”
In retrospect, it didn’t work for Wheels either. “I just… I just wanted to show you how much I wanted to go with you… and how much I enjoy being your girlfriend. I thought it’d be cute if we asked each other. I’m a sap, okay? I’m a sap because I’m with you and I’m in love with you. And I just wanted to show everybody that.”
“You can’t stop thinking about everyone else, can you?”
Santana’s sympathy evaporated and she tossed the sunflower into the closest sink. “Brittany, I am not going to do this walking on eggshells thing with you anymore. You’ve been really hot and cold with me lately and I want to know why. I just serenaded you in front of your classmates and while I admit it’s a bit corny, there’s no reason to embarrass me more by racing out of the room. What the hell is going on with you?”
“Santana, the only reason you did that is because you wanted to make people vote for you for prom queen! It had nothing to do with me!”
“No, it wasn’t. What are you talking about?!”
Her tone full of frustration, Brittany exclaimed, “Santana, I know you love me! I’ve known for longer than you. But, lately, all you do is show everybody. I mean, first, you let us sing ‘Untouched’ together. And then you dragged me to Ms. Holliday so we could sing the astronaut song. And then you sang your not-about-sex song to me. And just last week, you sang ‘Songbird’ to me. You might as well carve it into the Wall of Truth: ‘Two Plus Two Equals Four’, ‘Dolphins Are Just Gay Sharks’, and ‘Santana Lopez Loves Brittany S. Pierce’.”
Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany’s neck. “I guess I am being a little clingy. But I totally would carve it into the wall. Maybe in the cafeteria?”
Calmer, Brittany smiled at that. “Santana, you’re kind of being a giant pussy. Of course I’ll go to prom with you. And, yeah, I’m definitely planning on making your prom night totally awesome. But I want you to be happy, and to be happy, we gotta win this thing. So, really, you should just focus on using your sneaky tactics. I’m no good at that.”
“Okay, because we’re dancing together at prom with crowns on our heads. I promise you that.”
God, I bet serenades never works.
* * *
At this point, back in the Home Ec room, Mrs. Hagbert was gone. Kurt was sitting at the front of the room, searching through a cookbook with distaste. Puck was flirting with a couple of girls in the back row.
Raj walked in with Artie in tow. “Hey, we early?”
“Nope, just in time,” Puck answered, not turning away from the giggling girls. “But you’ve got seven minutes before Nick Ferreira comes in here to sing ‘Down’ by Jay Sean.”
“Who to?” Artie wondered.
“Whatever junior girl will take him,” Puck remarked.
By this point, Raj had taken a seat on Kurt’s abandoned stool in front of a stunned Mercedes. “Hey, Artie, we gonna do this? Mercedes, I’ve got something to say and your glee friends were very kind to inform me the correct way to do this was in song, so if you don’t mind…?”
Mercedes, speechless, just shook her head.
God Blessed The Broken Road - Rascal Flatts
I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn’t see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
By the end of the song, Kurt was squealing with so much gaiety that he stumbled off the stool at the front of the room.
“Does mean you forgive me?” Mercedes asked.
“Yeah. I really like you, Mercedes. As long as you don’t have any other boyfriends hiding in the woodworks,” he joked.
“No, just you. I’m not that kind of girl, really. I just got… mixed up in something.”
“Yeah, your friend Quinn explained the situation. She said you’d had a thing for me for a while. In retrospect, I did kind of overreact.”
“No, you didn’t,” Mercedes replied, “But Quinn, she told you that?”
“Right before a rather persuasive and lengthy speech about why I should vote for her for prom queen.”
“Well, she just earned my vote.”
* * *
Artie rolled up to Genevieve McLaire. “Arthur,” she greeted him coldly.
“Genevieve, I thought we weren’t on bad terms. Blah, blah, blah, act break.”
She nodded thoughtfully. “I see your point.”
“I don’t,” Artie mumbled under his breath.
“So, what can I do for you?”
“Prom. We should go together. As friends.”
“I would consider it. Friends are like silver and gold, and it’s not like I couldn’t use the money. Fortunately, I already have a date.”
“How is that fortunate?”
“It’s fortunate for me. I’m viewing life through my own worldview only. To do otherwise would recognize the non-diegesis of the audience. It’s a theater thing; you wouldn’t understand.”
“Even though I know what all those words mean, I’m not 100 percent sure they make sense in that order…”
“I will be attending prom with Neil Norman.”
“I know that guy. He’s VP of the A/V club. He was on our Brainiacs and quit a week before Regionals. We had to replace him with Jacob Ben Israel. I’m pretty sure his glasses are decorative.”
“I can appreciate a good costume,” Genevieve explained, “also, as part of A/V club, he got us an invitation to a very exclusive after-prom party that he’s helping set up.”
Drolly, Artie explained, “For Noah Puckerman? Yeah, that’s the glee after-prom party.”
“Splendid. While I find that Rachel Berry girl absolutely repulsive, her tendency toward singing musical theater classics does mean I will rather enjoy the music.”
“Well, at least it won’t be awkward,” Artie noted ironically.
“I would think it would be. For you.”
“Yes, I know. I’m imagining it from your point of view. It’s called viewer-centered visualization. The audience is the only perspective you take into account when narrating a story. It’s a film thing; you wouldn’t understand.”
* * *
The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
I can’t help feeling
We could have had it all
“Jesse, what are you doing here?” Rachel asked, sitting next to her ex-boyfriend in the auditorium.
“Enforced sabbatical. My first semester at UCLA, my grade point average fell to below passing. At Carmel, I always had some Asian kid do my math and English and scientific for me. How was I supposed to know I had to show up for all those other classes? Anyway, luckily my personal assistant-slash-roommate didn’t throw away my probation letter from my bag of fan mail. To make up the credits, they’ve allowed me to do a work-study program. I’ve been visiting some of the most prestigious high school show choirs in the country. I would have visited McKinley earlier, but I had to work up the courage to come here.”
“That’s the first time you’ve admitted you were scared.”
“It’s probably the first time I ever have been. My parents raised me with a very controversial Saudi Arabian parenting technique. But I wasn’t scared of facing you, Rachel; I was scared you wouldn’t forgive me.”
“Vocal Adrenaline smashed eggs on my head. The baby chicks…” she whined.
A passing A/V club member with glasses condescendingly explained, “Chicken eggs are unfertilized. It’s no more a chick than your monthly visit from Aunt Flo is a baby. This is the second time today I’ve had to explain this.”
“Well, I can’t say I’m not honored that you’ve decided New Directions was worth your time. Though apparently not until two weeks before the competition.”
“In my defense, there was also the issue of Principal Sylvester haggling my consulting fee down.”
Suddenly, Jesse was on his knees. He took Rachel’s hand. “Rachel Barbra Berry, I beg your forgiveness. What I did was inexcusable. I betrayed your trust and the trust of your team. Even Dante considers betrayal the darkest of sins. But will you be angelic and pass onto me some undeserved forgiveness?”
Rachel nodded. “Jesse, of course I can forgive you, but don’t think that this means we’re going to get back together. I’m with Finn now, and we’re happy.”
Jesse nodded. “I was expecting that. Not that I think he deserves you, of course, but I’m aware that my betrayal must have left you feeling quite vulnerable, and he slipped in. Still, I have to allow you any happiness that I failed to provide for you.” He rewrapped his scarf around his neck dramatically.
“Have you spoken with Mr. Schuester yet?”
“No… could you please direct me to the choir room? It seems the everyday student doesn’t know where it is.”
“I’ll take you there.” As they walked, Rachel inquired offhandedly, “So, by any chance, have you spoken with Ms. Corcoran?”
Jesse paused before answering, “No, I tried to get into contact with her, but I… couldn’t.”
* * *
Mrs. Hagberg was in the principal’s office with Figgins, Santana, and Will. “She came in and disrupted my class to sing a song to her girlfriend.”
Santana had a frown on her face. “So what? I sang awesomely. And who cares who I was singing to?”
The Home Ec teacher scowled at her.
Figgins noted, “Thank you, Judith. I will handle it from here.”
Mrs. Hagbert sneered and excused herself, muttering about quiches.
“Vice Principal Figgins,” Santana pleaded, “this isn’t fair. That old witch wouldn’t have done anything if it were a boy singing to Brittany.”
“We don’t know that, Miss Lopez.”
I do. “Please tell me I’m not getting a detention from this.”
“Not at all. I find it a very charming gesture, one that I hope will replace the awful acts of bullying. Our janitorial budget is down nineteen percent because of your anti-bullying league.”
“So, I’m not in trouble?”
Figgin’s tone darkened slightly. “Well, that remains to be seen. I’m afraid I’m going to have to reverse my decision considering your prom proposal.”
“What?!” Santana cried out loud enough to be heard at the other end of the hall. Will took one step forward in case the Latina was coiling to strike, cobra-style.
“You were supposed to glide under the radar, Miss Lopez. The point of making you educate the students about your double-prom queen scheme was that it couldn’t come back to me. Or rather the school administration.” With great gloom and doom, he announced, “I am reinstating the line between the prom king and queen candidates. I will be instructing student council to elect a prom king and a prom queen.”
“That’s not fair!” Santana took one step forward and Will two.
“Neither is the backlash I’m going to receive from concerned parents if I openly advocate this LGBT issue. The junior prom is in two days. If a few parents petition for an emergency school board meeting, the prom will most likely be canceled and no one will be elected prom queen. And we will lose quite a bit of money from the nonrefundable deposits. You’re lucky this happened so late. We might have had to disallow same-sex couples from purchasing pair tickets. There are some very persuasive conservative groups in this town.”
Will finally stepped in. “Figgins, you’ve made your point. Now, in light of the rather trivial offense that she committed, and I think it’s fair that she remain on the ballot.”
“Fine,” Figgins answered.
Well, I’ve royalled screwed the pooch. My Britts’ gonna be so disappointed. She loves playing princess and I’ve taken away her crown.
Let’s just make sure one other thing doesn’t go wrong. “One more thing, sir. I’ve heard rumors of an underground movement to elect Kurt Hummel prom queen. If you dare read out his name, I will have your job.”
Furiously, the vice principal spat, “Miss Lopez, you would be wise to stop threatening me.”
“It’s not a threat. It’s a warning. You work for a vindictive woman who has a soft spot for Kurt.”
Figgins frowned, suitably frightened.
Santana walked out of the office in front of Will, keeping a brisk pace to avoid his inevitable attempt at comforting her. She found herself in the library. She pulled out a long-since vandalized copy of The Thunderclap 2006 and opened it to the Junior Prom Court picture: pretty blond girl in a pretty dress next to a handsome young man. They were wearing crowns.
Brittany would look good in a crown. ‘Would’ve’, I should say.
Chapter 26