Hope
On November 6, 1999 I had to do one of the most difficult things in my life. I had to say good-bye to my first guide dog Hindi. She was a wonderful black lab who had great work ethic but did have awful house manners. Her whole life was spent getting into one thing or another. But despite it all I really loved that dog and on my fifth wedding anniversary she had an awful stroke which led to my having to put her down. Which made for one very awful anniversary.
It broke my heart in ways that words cannot express. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. She was supposed to go and live happily until a ripe old age with friends who loved her and wanted only the best for her too. But this wasn’t to be.
How was I supposed to go on from here? I had to make it until the 27th when I am going to the Oregon campus of Guide Dogs for the Blind to receive my second guide dog. Retiring Hindi was very hard even though she was eleven and going blind. I didn’t want to have this kind of emptiness in my life in between my dogs. How dare she go and do this was all I could think for several days after she was put down.
Each day was a struggle to get up at first. Seeing her dish in the kitchen made me sad and cry. Her harness hung on the door knob of the closet in our hall along with her leash. I would briefly forget and then all the memories would come back like a brick only to crush me down. I would look for her only to remember that I would never find her again getting into the trash or laying in the worst place possible, the middle of the hall.
Finally the day arrived and even with delays in my flights I made it to Oregon and not even two hours later I had in my hands the leash of a very beautiful yellow lab named Sunset.
I couldn’t believe this dog was so amazing after the awful three weeks I had just been through. I sat for an hour just crying while holding onto this wonderful new dog. She gave love back so willingly in ways Hindi never had from the beginning. I made a vow that I would be as loving if not more to this dog as I was to Hindi. I would ensure that Sunset got all the love I could give and more.
Training was awful. I didn’t get along with my classmates. It rained every single day. It was unbelievingly cold and yucky the whole time I was there. And I could not let go of my memories of Hindi.
Sunset was so patient and loving the whole time. It wasn’t even two days and we had bonded like we had been together for our whole lives. It made me happy to no end. When we went out for our first real walk the instructors were impressed with how great we looked. I needed very little help with issues while in class and when we graduated on December 12th I knew we would have a lasting relationship for many years.
The grief slowly went away and the new relationship with Sunset blossomed into one so amazing that she is now referred to as my soul mate to everyone I talk to about her.
Sunset is now retired. I kept her as a pet here in my home since I was able to do so. She gets along with my new guide Tennyson. He too is now making a place in my heart. I learned a wonderful lesson about the human heart from my experience with Hindi. The memories of a beloved dog never have to be forgotten. We may get a new dog but those other ones will always have a special place in our hearts and minds.
No matter what is going on in your life, do not give up hope. There will always be something to lift you up. I realized how important that word hope was when I was training with Sunset back in 1999. And I was again reminded of how important hope was last year when I went to train with Tennyson.
Never lose hope.
This is a home game entry for LJ idol, therealljidol, week 7. The topic was hope.
It broke my heart in ways that words cannot express. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. She was supposed to go and live happily until a ripe old age with friends who loved her and wanted only the best for her too. But this wasn’t to be.
How was I supposed to go on from here? I had to make it until the 27th when I am going to the Oregon campus of Guide Dogs for the Blind to receive my second guide dog. Retiring Hindi was very hard even though she was eleven and going blind. I didn’t want to have this kind of emptiness in my life in between my dogs. How dare she go and do this was all I could think for several days after she was put down.
Each day was a struggle to get up at first. Seeing her dish in the kitchen made me sad and cry. Her harness hung on the door knob of the closet in our hall along with her leash. I would briefly forget and then all the memories would come back like a brick only to crush me down. I would look for her only to remember that I would never find her again getting into the trash or laying in the worst place possible, the middle of the hall.
Finally the day arrived and even with delays in my flights I made it to Oregon and not even two hours later I had in my hands the leash of a very beautiful yellow lab named Sunset.
I couldn’t believe this dog was so amazing after the awful three weeks I had just been through. I sat for an hour just crying while holding onto this wonderful new dog. She gave love back so willingly in ways Hindi never had from the beginning. I made a vow that I would be as loving if not more to this dog as I was to Hindi. I would ensure that Sunset got all the love I could give and more.
Training was awful. I didn’t get along with my classmates. It rained every single day. It was unbelievingly cold and yucky the whole time I was there. And I could not let go of my memories of Hindi.
Sunset was so patient and loving the whole time. It wasn’t even two days and we had bonded like we had been together for our whole lives. It made me happy to no end. When we went out for our first real walk the instructors were impressed with how great we looked. I needed very little help with issues while in class and when we graduated on December 12th I knew we would have a lasting relationship for many years.
The grief slowly went away and the new relationship with Sunset blossomed into one so amazing that she is now referred to as my soul mate to everyone I talk to about her.
Sunset is now retired. I kept her as a pet here in my home since I was able to do so. She gets along with my new guide Tennyson. He too is now making a place in my heart. I learned a wonderful lesson about the human heart from my experience with Hindi. The memories of a beloved dog never have to be forgotten. We may get a new dog but those other ones will always have a special place in our hearts and minds.
No matter what is going on in your life, do not give up hope. There will always be something to lift you up. I realized how important that word hope was when I was training with Sunset back in 1999. And I was again reminded of how important hope was last year when I went to train with Tennyson.
Never lose hope.
This is a home game entry for LJ idol, therealljidol, week 7. The topic was hope.