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Hi. My name is Taylor. I'm 16 years old and live in a town in Eastern Massachuetts. I'm your pretty typical teenager. I like music, dancing and hanging out with my friends. I never realized how important my friends were until about two weeks ago.. Let me tell you why.
The past couple months have been very hard for me. To begin my parents are divorced. My mother has moved to Rhode Island. She is an alcoholic and my father couldn't handle her anymore. Once the divorce was finalilized my dad placed my mom in a rehab center. This rehab center is supposed to be pretty well known throughout New England. I wish she could have stayed close. My mom and I are so close... she is almost like my best friend and I can pretty much tell her anything. My life at home has been stressful and tension-ridden since mid- February. I couldn't really talk about that to anyone .
Secondly I have been dating an amazing guy Paul since last spring. He's a senior and headed to college in September to study musical theatre. He's amazing. I had a hard time accepting that things were going to be different once September comes. I can really be myself around Paul unlike most of the guys in my grade.
One day after school in late April I went out for coffee after school with my best friend Natalie. We've been friends second grade and I can tell her pretty much anything except what was going on at home & and my fear of ending my relationship with Paul. "How are things with you and Paul?" she asked. "Fine." I replied.
She would never be prepared for the bombshell of a question I was about to ask her.
"What do you think about suicide?"
At first she seemed shocked by my question and didn't seem to have an answer but then we talked about death and funerals. I had a lump in my throat and didn't dare ask if she'd miss me if I wasn't around. We paid our bill and headed for home.
The next few weeks I pretty much pasted a fake smile on and acted like nothing was wrong. Natalie and my other best would constantly ask me what was wrong. I would shake my head and shrug. Paul would ask me the same type of question. I could always talk to him about anything... but not this. We went to prom together and had a great time. When he drove me home my stomach was tied in knots "Taylor, why can't you tell me what's bothering you?" he asked. "You won't understand." I said. I made a quick escape from his car before he could even kiss me good night. He looked completely dumbfounded as he drove away.
The days that led up to graduation I felt like I couldn't go to school. I didn't want to deal with seeing Paul and all his friends celebrating this momentous occasion and I most certainly couldn't focus on studying for my finals. I dug through the medicine cabinet getting all the pill bottles. I looked over all the labels and decided which ones I was going to take. I walked away from the bathroom counter and walked in to my bedroom and looked at the clock. It glowed 12:00. School would be out soon and my two older brothers Jimmy and Richie would be home. I had to act fast if I was going to do this. I just handle all the pain I was going through anymore.
Suddenly my cell phone went off. I looked at the caller Id it was my best friend Rachel."Taylor, what's going on? Paul just told me you acted real strange after prom. Are you ok?"
I sighed. It was time to be honest.
"No, I'm not alright. I haven't been since February. "
"Are you suicidal?"
I barely choked out my reply "Yes."
"Don't you dare do anything! I'm on my way over."
I went in my room, sat down on my bed and waited. Within five minutes feet were pounding up stairs and Rachel was standing in my doorway.
"Shut the door. My brothers will be home soon. I don't want them to hear us."
Rachel did as she was instructed , sat down on the bed, took my hands and stared me straight in the eye.
"Taylor, what the hell is wrong with you? Why would scare us like this?"
I looked down at the bedspread in shame. I couldn't let her see me cry.
"I just have been so alone. I felt like you guys wouldn't understand me. Neither would my dad or brothers."
"Understand what?"
"My parent's divorce & the end of my relationship."
"Your relationship with Paul?"
"Yeah, I know we'll be broken up by the end of the summer and I don't think I'll be able to handle that."
Rachel took me into her arms.
"Taylor, there's no reason to do anything drastic."
"There's not?"
"Of course not. Don't you realize you're surrounded by people who love you and want to help?"
I didn't respond.
"Honey, we love you. Why were you so afraid to talk to us?"
I shrugged. "Well, none of you guys have dealt with divorce so I felt you wouldn't understand."
We talked for over two hours. Once she left I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Now I could focus on getting my life back on track and enjoying my summer. That two hour talk really made me realize the true power and meaning behind friendship. Rachel saved my life and I am so lucky to have her and my other friends as well as my family in my life.
Hi. My name is Taylor. I'm 16 years old and live in a town in Eastern Massachuetts. I'm your pretty typical teenager. I like music, dancing and hanging out with my friends. I never realized how important my friends were until about two weeks ago.. Let me tell you why.
The past couple months have been very hard for me. To begin my parents are divorced. My mother has moved to Rhode Island. She is an alcoholic and my father couldn't handle her anymore. Once the divorce was finalilized my dad placed my mom in a rehab center. This rehab center is supposed to be pretty well known throughout New England. I wish she could have stayed close. My mom and I are so close... she is almost like my best friend and I can pretty much tell her anything. My life at home has been stressful and tension-ridden since mid- February. I couldn't really talk about that to anyone .
Secondly I have been dating an amazing guy Paul since last spring. He's a senior and headed to college in September to study musical theatre. He's amazing. I had a hard time accepting that things were going to be different once September comes. I can really be myself around Paul unlike most of the guys in my grade.
One day after school in late April I went out for coffee after school with my best friend Natalie. We've been friends second grade and I can tell her pretty much anything except what was going on at home & and my fear of ending my relationship with Paul. "How are things with you and Paul?" she asked. "Fine." I replied.
She would never be prepared for the bombshell of a question I was about to ask her.
"What do you think about suicide?"
At first she seemed shocked by my question and didn't seem to have an answer but then we talked about death and funerals. I had a lump in my throat and didn't dare ask if she'd miss me if I wasn't around. We paid our bill and headed for home.
The next few weeks I pretty much pasted a fake smile on and acted like nothing was wrong. Natalie and my other best would constantly ask me what was wrong. I would shake my head and shrug. Paul would ask me the same type of question. I could always talk to him about anything... but not this. We went to prom together and had a great time. When he drove me home my stomach was tied in knots "Taylor, why can't you tell me what's bothering you?" he asked. "You won't understand." I said. I made a quick escape from his car before he could even kiss me good night. He looked completely dumbfounded as he drove away.
The days that led up to graduation I felt like I couldn't go to school. I didn't want to deal with seeing Paul and all his friends celebrating this momentous occasion and I most certainly couldn't focus on studying for my finals. I dug through the medicine cabinet getting all the pill bottles. I looked over all the labels and decided which ones I was going to take. I walked away from the bathroom counter and walked in to my bedroom and looked at the clock. It glowed 12:00. School would be out soon and my two older brothers Jimmy and Richie would be home. I had to act fast if I was going to do this. I just handle all the pain I was going through anymore.
Suddenly my cell phone went off. I looked at the caller Id it was my best friend Rachel."Taylor, what's going on? Paul just told me you acted real strange after prom. Are you ok?"
I sighed. It was time to be honest.
"No, I'm not alright. I haven't been since February. "
"Are you suicidal?"
I barely choked out my reply "Yes."
"Don't you dare do anything! I'm on my way over."
I went in my room, sat down on my bed and waited. Within five minutes feet were pounding up stairs and Rachel was standing in my doorway.
"Shut the door. My brothers will be home soon. I don't want them to hear us."
Rachel did as she was instructed , sat down on the bed, took my hands and stared me straight in the eye.
"Taylor, what the hell is wrong with you? Why would scare us like this?"
I looked down at the bedspread in shame. I couldn't let her see me cry.
"I just have been so alone. I felt like you guys wouldn't understand me. Neither would my dad or brothers."
"Understand what?"
"My parent's divorce & the end of my relationship."
"Your relationship with Paul?"
"Yeah, I know we'll be broken up by the end of the summer and I don't think I'll be able to handle that."
Rachel took me into her arms.
"Taylor, there's no reason to do anything drastic."
"There's not?"
"Of course not. Don't you realize you're surrounded by people who love you and want to help?"
I didn't respond.
"Honey, we love you. Why were you so afraid to talk to us?"
I shrugged. "Well, none of you guys have dealt with divorce so I felt you wouldn't understand."
We talked for over two hours. Once she left I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Now I could focus on getting my life back on track and enjoying my summer. That two hour talk really made me realize the true power and meaning behind friendship. Rachel saved my life and I am so lucky to have her and my other friends as well as my family in my life.