(no subject)
I am so incredibly happy that Matt is home. It was a very long 7 weeks without him, and I'm happy for my life to resume it's normal and happy course. I am also ecstatic that I can stop taking the damn medicine they gave me for PPD. I requested it honestly, because I was really afraid of how anxious I was when he first left, and I know in some ways, it did help me stay calmer in the weeks he was away. However, I could feel a lot of negative effects I didn't like that was making me the type of Mom and wife I don't want to be. Like too relaxed and too lazy/lethargic. I am active and motivated by nature, and in all the downtime I had, I was sleeping or letting things slide I never would, like cleaning my house as much, teaching Bella things, etc. I know by myself, it was harder to get as much done, but I could feel myself just not caring, I don't know how else to put it. But I do know I don't want to be on it long term, and although I did feel *slightly* panicky, it more like my normal self and that's how I'd rather be. I want to obsessively clean my house. I want to workout and focus on my health. I want to enjoy my husband and daughter, teaching her things and helping her grow.
So I'm happy, Matt and I can balance things together, and that feels so awesome.
So I'm happy, Matt and I can balance things together, and that feels so awesome.