What in the hell have I done?
The reality of how I have screwed myself over this year just hit me today, as I was sitting in summer school. I finally learned to look around me. LOOK AROUND YOU GIRL? HOW MANY OTHER RICH WHITE GIRLS DO YOU SEE SITTING HERE? HMM... LET'S SEE, NONE! I have taken every advantage given to me in life and thrown it out like an expired coupon. I'm not stupid. I've never made great grades, but I'm really intelligent. But it doesn't matter. Because I have squandered all the gifts God gave me making F's in classes I could have easily passed. So here I am, in a classroom with unsocialized ghetto trash, and it all hits me. Well thanks for informing me, Mr. Brain. It's a year too late though. Please try again. Look at what I was given! Look at everything I have. A computer, two parents that love me, three dogs, a cell phone, a big white house, clothes, and a decent brain, but who cares? Just toss it aside so that I can sleep early, socialize, and draw crappy pictures of cemetaries! Sound good? Why the hell am I even alive? I'm wasting a good life! Why did God have to give this life to a freak like me with messed up priorities? I don't want to die. I don't want my life to end so soon, but I don't see my point in being here. If I'm not going to do anything, why was I even born? I don't understand. If you're reading this, you're probably thinking: "Wow, what a spoiled lazy brat!" Well, you can go on thinking that. Because you're RIGHT! Absolutely, totally, completely right!
By the way, I won my dive meet.
By the way, I won my dive meet.