uhh..
Ok so.. I'm not one to copy and paste things into my livejournal that are personal conversations unless it's a funny line or a joke or something super exciting. But I cannot express the full effect of this e-mail I just received unless I tell you every single part of it, therefore copy and pasting it is the logical and easiest choice.
First - I found a box of Cory's stuff under my bed and tried to contact him about it and when I didn't get ahold of him I tried his mom - she said she wanted to meet but I told her I wasn't in Baltimore and kinda forgot all about the whole conversation cuz it's not a priority for me.
I get this e-mail from her a few days ago...
Hi Sweetie,
You have been on my mind so much lately. I'd love to see you and we don't have to talk about anything you don't want to or anything you do want to talk about we can. David and I miss you very much and often feel like we lost a family member. You know that sinking feeling you get when there is a death in the family, that's how I often feel, it really doesn't ever go away. We were so proud of you and still are. My parents ask about you everytime we see you.
Of course, Cory is still on everyone's shit list. We have all had to just sit back and let him suffer which is very sad. He is paying a heavy price for a very stupid thing. I think he's finally learning that nothing good comes easy and you have to work very hard for money. We are finally past the suicide issues although he is never permitted to move back home. If he ever needs to come back home I think he will have to live on his own in the area and prove himself. How wierd, just the other day he was saying he wished he could talk to you. I didn't mention our email or anything. Didn't think you would want me to.
Anyway, I should shut up, just one of those nights when I just wish I could rewrite the past. One day when you're a parent you'll see you wish you could prevent your kids from making bad decisions and you just want to save them but can't. Finally, when they realize it is often too late. Just know, please, we have never stopped thinking about you and would do anything for you. There is nothing I can say or do that will make up for Cory's stupidity but I hope you don't hold it against us, I think we were in a state of shock. Everything was so good and we were so proud, especially at graduation and you were with us. That moment we knew you would be our family and then out of know where everything fell apart. What a cruel thing life is sometimes. I'm sorry, I said I would shut up. Please forgive me. I'll delete this after I send it so David doesn't read it. He said I shouldn't bear my soul to you but when I see your cousin and Daniel I think of you. You'll always be in my heart and memories.
Sorry, Love, Olwyn.
P.S.
Please don't be mad at me for this email. I promise I won't say any more or bring anything up.
I just... am in shock really. I wasn't upset to get this. If anything it feels good cuz it was a definite "I told you so" moment. But... I feel bad for her in a weird way. And I wouldn't mind talking to Cory at all I'm just concerned about him getting attatched to me if he's still unstable about.... life. I'm at the point where I don't really have a problem hanging up on him and not answering the phone but a part of me will always wonder how he's doing and want to try and help him. He was my best friend for almost 3 years and that part of me will always be concerned about him. But now that my heart isn't involved I can step back and disconnect myself before I get hurt. I dunno. I sent a polite email back thanking her, and saying that I was still not in Baltimore but said it would be ok if Cory called me.
Guess we'll see what happens this time.
First - I found a box of Cory's stuff under my bed and tried to contact him about it and when I didn't get ahold of him I tried his mom - she said she wanted to meet but I told her I wasn't in Baltimore and kinda forgot all about the whole conversation cuz it's not a priority for me.
I get this e-mail from her a few days ago...
Hi Sweetie,
You have been on my mind so much lately. I'd love to see you and we don't have to talk about anything you don't want to or anything you do want to talk about we can. David and I miss you very much and often feel like we lost a family member. You know that sinking feeling you get when there is a death in the family, that's how I often feel, it really doesn't ever go away. We were so proud of you and still are. My parents ask about you everytime we see you.
Of course, Cory is still on everyone's shit list. We have all had to just sit back and let him suffer which is very sad. He is paying a heavy price for a very stupid thing. I think he's finally learning that nothing good comes easy and you have to work very hard for money. We are finally past the suicide issues although he is never permitted to move back home. If he ever needs to come back home I think he will have to live on his own in the area and prove himself. How wierd, just the other day he was saying he wished he could talk to you. I didn't mention our email or anything. Didn't think you would want me to.
Anyway, I should shut up, just one of those nights when I just wish I could rewrite the past. One day when you're a parent you'll see you wish you could prevent your kids from making bad decisions and you just want to save them but can't. Finally, when they realize it is often too late. Just know, please, we have never stopped thinking about you and would do anything for you. There is nothing I can say or do that will make up for Cory's stupidity but I hope you don't hold it against us, I think we were in a state of shock. Everything was so good and we were so proud, especially at graduation and you were with us. That moment we knew you would be our family and then out of know where everything fell apart. What a cruel thing life is sometimes. I'm sorry, I said I would shut up. Please forgive me. I'll delete this after I send it so David doesn't read it. He said I shouldn't bear my soul to you but when I see your cousin and Daniel I think of you. You'll always be in my heart and memories.
Sorry, Love, Olwyn.
P.S.
Please don't be mad at me for this email. I promise I won't say any more or bring anything up.
I just... am in shock really. I wasn't upset to get this. If anything it feels good cuz it was a definite "I told you so" moment. But... I feel bad for her in a weird way. And I wouldn't mind talking to Cory at all I'm just concerned about him getting attatched to me if he's still unstable about.... life. I'm at the point where I don't really have a problem hanging up on him and not answering the phone but a part of me will always wonder how he's doing and want to try and help him. He was my best friend for almost 3 years and that part of me will always be concerned about him. But now that my heart isn't involved I can step back and disconnect myself before I get hurt. I dunno. I sent a polite email back thanking her, and saying that I was still not in Baltimore but said it would be ok if Cory called me.
Guess we'll see what happens this time.