(no subject)
1:30 am and I can't sleep. Ain't that always the way. I'm curled up in bed, heated blankets blazing, and freezing despite being swathed in flannel pajamas. I've got my iPod on and I'm skipping through the shuffle to play only the depressing songs, the songs that trigger memories.
It's not that I miss Atlanta itself. I miss the excitement, the feeling that Really Big and Important Things were on my horizon. I don't feel that way anymore.
I raised my arm in triumph when we first crossed the state line into Georgia. I called Andy when we passed the exit for Suwanee. I bought my own furniture for the first time. Wes and I admired Peachtree Road from Shout's balcony as the September evening breeze rustled our hair over our shared creme brulee, celebrating the fact that we Finally Made It. A week later, we saw Less Than Jake perform at The Masquerade and I danced in the pit with Andy. I chose and purchased my first suit and wore it to an interview at a company for which I was dying to work. Driving around, I felt a glimmer of hope that I might soon be a homeowner. I saw Andy race.
Against all odds, I like living in the Milwaukee 'burbs. It feels more like home than Atlanta ever would have--can't take the North out of the girl, and all that. But I no longer have the confidence boost I need to progress. I absolutely need that feeling that however fucked up my situation may be, I got here on my own.
That's what will probably prevent me from sleeping tonight.
"You grew up way too fast, and now there's nothing to believe, and reruns all become our history."
--Goo Goo Dolls
It's not that I miss Atlanta itself. I miss the excitement, the feeling that Really Big and Important Things were on my horizon. I don't feel that way anymore.
I raised my arm in triumph when we first crossed the state line into Georgia. I called Andy when we passed the exit for Suwanee. I bought my own furniture for the first time. Wes and I admired Peachtree Road from Shout's balcony as the September evening breeze rustled our hair over our shared creme brulee, celebrating the fact that we Finally Made It. A week later, we saw Less Than Jake perform at The Masquerade and I danced in the pit with Andy. I chose and purchased my first suit and wore it to an interview at a company for which I was dying to work. Driving around, I felt a glimmer of hope that I might soon be a homeowner. I saw Andy race.
Against all odds, I like living in the Milwaukee 'burbs. It feels more like home than Atlanta ever would have--can't take the North out of the girl, and all that. But I no longer have the confidence boost I need to progress. I absolutely need that feeling that however fucked up my situation may be, I got here on my own.
That's what will probably prevent me from sleeping tonight.
"You grew up way too fast, and now there's nothing to believe, and reruns all become our history."
--Goo Goo Dolls