It's a NEW DAY!

[crazyncuteks]

So my brother is officially back home! They got home last night and so after work I went to visit for the evening. He's doing really well. He is complaining that his back hurts really bad. He had a massage therapist give him a massage but that didn't help. I gave him one last night but I wasn't helping any so he had me stop. I told him that he

Comments

[strawberrychaos]

Oh, girl, have I been there... I understand. It sounds incredibly trite, but time really DOES heal all wounds. And the thing is, no one is worth you feeling miserable. NO ONE. You want to be with a guy who is there for you 110%. If you get less than that, move right along. Life really is too fleeting to waste time with someone who doesn't love you like you deserve to be loved. Take it from a girl who kissed a TON of frogs and finally ended up with her prince. :)

[crazyncuteks]

Thanks. I appriciate it. It just makes me sad because I wanted him to be my prince. He's so great. He makes me laugh like no other. I love his personality and ...and I just LOVE him. I still do. It's going to take some time and a lot of tears to get over that. I just never thought that this would happen. I wanted to marry him, have kids with him, grow old with him and die with him! We even had a plan for how we would be buried together. Sounds creepy but I thought it was incredibly sweet and romantic. I'm just going to miss that......A LOT.

[strawberrychaos]

That is very hard. :-( Maybe it would help in the grieving process to list all the things you didn't like about him (I think I saw on your journal a few entries back several things I would personally list. ;-) ). and then count your lucky stars you don't have to put up with it anymore. When you're in a relationship that makes you happy about 99.7% of the time, then you know you've found your prince.

[crazyncuteks]

Maybe someday I could do that but honestly I can't think about the "bad" things. I guess because I'm still in "save this relationship mode" and I believe things could get better. I'm not saying that I think that things will come around and we will get back together. I know that most likely won't happen. But The problems that we had, I don't know.... I don't know what to think any more. All I know is that I love him and I wanted things to work out because I wanted (I still do) us to be together. I've just got to work on it day to day, work on realizing that it's not going to happen. I wish him the best though.

[strawberrychaos]

There may come a day when you don't wish him the best, and that's okay, too. It's all part of the process. I think it's great you have such a good support system -- that's what will really help during this time!

And instead of focusing on him and the relationship, then, how about you focus on you and your future? Is there some sort of class, hobby, something you could start doing that you've never done before? Something you've always wanted to do?

[crazyncuteks]

I'm going to be spending a lot of time with friends and family. That's for sure. I was thinking about getting a second job to save up for a few things and I'm going to continue to grow my hair out and when it gets long enough I'm going to cut it and donate it to Locks of Love. :) I'm really excited about that part.
I'm also going to go to church more often now. That was one of our problems. I believe in certian things that he didn't believe and I tried to get him to believe the same things, not pushing but asking him to attend church with me. He didn't like that. I told him it was just an option but *shrugs* I know that's not the BIG reason, but it was a factor.
I am focusing on me. I know I'll be ok. It's just those few moments before bed, when I wake up in the morning, and driving in my car that really get to me.