Break from Packing
Tonight I found a journal I started 4 years ago whenever I was going through a rough patch. It's funny how things never change, not the big things anyways. This was one of those "pour your soul on paper" kind of journals. The problems are still the same too, it's strange. Parents not getting along, shakey relationship with mom, sister who only is interested in taking. It was just weird to read that words I wrote 4 years ago, when I was in a completely different mental and emotionally state echo what I feel today.
I'm getting a little bit sad about leaving as I pack my stuff. I think I'm procrastinating because once I'm finished, it's not my home. The fact that I'm leaving will be more real. I'm really sad to be leaving my first apartment. Yes, it obviously wasn't anything spectacular but we did what we could and made a place that I could call home. Freshman and sophomore year it was like I didn't have a place of my own. So it's definitely nice to have somewhere that I feel comfortable and myself in. That's about to change. It's not a bad thing, I just won't be able to completely be myself living with the grandparents haha.
So the life update is this - I am moving in with my grandparents and my dad in Killeen, TX while I job/apartment search in Austin, TX. I've already applied for 3 jobs that I feel are promising so hopefully I won't be in Killeen for too long. I think I'll be very lonely in Killeen, as far as friends go. It'll be great to have family around though, that'll make up for it.
Me leaving is just really sinking in right now. This is the hardest move I've ever had to make, yes even though I move all the time.
Found out that the guy I had my only long term relationship with is married. Weird feeling. It feels final...and like I'm old. And it was kind of the icing on the "we will never talk again" cake. It's not that I wanted to start things up romantically with him, we are just so different now. I always hoped that at some point we would be able to catch up. He was my best friend for a long time, it's weird not to know what's going on in his life. I guess finding out that he's married on top of having to pack up old pictures and memorbilia is a little rough. It's weird though because I haven't thought about him for a really long time. One of his best friends added me as a friend on facebook and so it all was sparked.
This Week's Plans:
Monday - be completely moved out
Tuesday - clean and leave house
Wednesday - niceville area (anyone let me know if ya wanna see me before i move to texas, here's your chance)
Thursday - niceville area
Friday - back in tallahassee, family getting into town
Saturday - MY GRADUATION! (finally!), graduation BBQ, prob out to dinner, partying at bullwinkles with family and friends
Sunday - move to texas
wow, looking at it now, that's a busy week. moving sucks. but... i'll be graduating on saturday!!!
Well I have to get back to the horrible horrible task of packing.
I'm getting a little bit sad about leaving as I pack my stuff. I think I'm procrastinating because once I'm finished, it's not my home. The fact that I'm leaving will be more real. I'm really sad to be leaving my first apartment. Yes, it obviously wasn't anything spectacular but we did what we could and made a place that I could call home. Freshman and sophomore year it was like I didn't have a place of my own. So it's definitely nice to have somewhere that I feel comfortable and myself in. That's about to change. It's not a bad thing, I just won't be able to completely be myself living with the grandparents haha.
So the life update is this - I am moving in with my grandparents and my dad in Killeen, TX while I job/apartment search in Austin, TX. I've already applied for 3 jobs that I feel are promising so hopefully I won't be in Killeen for too long. I think I'll be very lonely in Killeen, as far as friends go. It'll be great to have family around though, that'll make up for it.
Me leaving is just really sinking in right now. This is the hardest move I've ever had to make, yes even though I move all the time.
Found out that the guy I had my only long term relationship with is married. Weird feeling. It feels final...and like I'm old. And it was kind of the icing on the "we will never talk again" cake. It's not that I wanted to start things up romantically with him, we are just so different now. I always hoped that at some point we would be able to catch up. He was my best friend for a long time, it's weird not to know what's going on in his life. I guess finding out that he's married on top of having to pack up old pictures and memorbilia is a little rough. It's weird though because I haven't thought about him for a really long time. One of his best friends added me as a friend on facebook and so it all was sparked.
This Week's Plans:
Monday - be completely moved out
Tuesday - clean and leave house
Wednesday - niceville area (anyone let me know if ya wanna see me before i move to texas, here's your chance)
Thursday - niceville area
Friday - back in tallahassee, family getting into town
Saturday - MY GRADUATION! (finally!), graduation BBQ, prob out to dinner, partying at bullwinkles with family and friends
Sunday - move to texas
wow, looking at it now, that's a busy week. moving sucks. but... i'll be graduating on saturday!!!
Well I have to get back to the horrible horrible task of packing.