home again
I was dreading coming home this time, but it's actually been sort of nice. No fights yet. Heh. I found a small CD case full of CDs that I thought I had lost. I also found some books that I thought I sold on Half.com but in fact my mom gathered them for me to take to Santa Cruz. Best ones? Crying of Lot 49 by Pynchon (sp.?), and No Exit and Other Plays by Sartre. So that's happy. I'm taking War and Peace back to SC so I can read it this summer. I'm pretty sure that it will actually take me the whole entire summer. I'm really losing my Russian and it's sad. I can't even have an intellectual discussion with my mom because I can't express exactly what I'm thinking and all I hear in my head is English. I just need to read some Russian classics to spring it back to memory.
My mom doesn't know that she's paying for me to retake a class that I got an F in. A big fucking F. The sad thing is that I know the material. I should've gotten a C in the class. Basically I could've spent the hours having fun in the sun instead of studying for the midterms and doing the homework, because the result obviously wouldn't change. An F? I know I've been driving a particular person out there crazy because I can't stop talking or thinking about it. Should I quit the whole economics deal? I told my mom that I hate it and that I'm not doing well and that it's not going to do anything for me job-wise. All she said was, "Oh and philosophy will?". I guess she's right. I could at least go to grad school or law school with my grades in philosophy. Law school though? I don't even know if I would want to do that, and if I don't know I really should not be going to law school. The first part of summer is gonna suck so much. I'm working over 40 hours at fucking McHenry and Takeout Taxi on top of that. Hopefully I'll be able to do homework there. I have to get an A or at least a B+ in this fucking class because it's gonna be supereasy for me and I have no excuse. GOD! I've put in so much less work into harder classes and still gotten Cs! I HATE ECON!!! fuuuuuuuck...
Sometimes I think this cycle never ends
We slide from top to bottom then we turn and climb again
And it seems by the time I've figured what it's worth
The squaking of our skin against the steel has gotten worse
My mom doesn't know that she's paying for me to retake a class that I got an F in. A big fucking F. The sad thing is that I know the material. I should've gotten a C in the class. Basically I could've spent the hours having fun in the sun instead of studying for the midterms and doing the homework, because the result obviously wouldn't change. An F? I know I've been driving a particular person out there crazy because I can't stop talking or thinking about it. Should I quit the whole economics deal? I told my mom that I hate it and that I'm not doing well and that it's not going to do anything for me job-wise. All she said was, "Oh and philosophy will?". I guess she's right. I could at least go to grad school or law school with my grades in philosophy. Law school though? I don't even know if I would want to do that, and if I don't know I really should not be going to law school. The first part of summer is gonna suck so much. I'm working over 40 hours at fucking McHenry and Takeout Taxi on top of that. Hopefully I'll be able to do homework there. I have to get an A or at least a B+ in this fucking class because it's gonna be supereasy for me and I have no excuse. GOD! I've put in so much less work into harder classes and still gotten Cs! I HATE ECON!!! fuuuuuuuck...
Sometimes I think this cycle never ends
We slide from top to bottom then we turn and climb again
And it seems by the time I've figured what it's worth
The squaking of our skin against the steel has gotten worse