why is my mother always right?

Apr 26, 2005 16:37

I joined the Facebook group "I have a friend at Harvard". I do. I have one friend at Harvard. She was one of my best friends freshman year of high school, but then our little "group" fell apart. I (along with my best friend Timi) went in search of bigger and better things, such as popularity and boys. She broke away in search of more intelligent life. She found it, and at the end of senior year was deciding between MIT and Harvard.
I found her online blog and it's beautiful. It's a just a college student's blog, but the words are beautiful and colorful and poetic and most of all, they aren't forced. She uses "a priori" casually in a sentence about muffins... I was in absolute awe, reading every word as if it was a important contribution to this world. It isn't, I know, but somehow to me she is extraordinary. It made me sad.
What stopped me from becoming that effortlessly smart? Me. I know I had it in me, but I chose to ignore the potential instead. And now here I am, 2.5 on my UCWeedC transcript and a dumb blinking marker on a blank document...

I feel as though all my efforts in academics have been and still are completely futile.

Please don't reply to this.
There's always existentialism to make me feel better.
Previous post Next post
Up