aaa
so here I am again updating a backdated journal. sittin at the office with a cookie in my hand. man I've been so sick lately. but I haven't laid down to crash yet. Finally got my taste buds back though lol so guess my appettite will follow.
seems like every possible physical thing that could go wrong with me has been going wrong and it sux. Like this stupid cough and sinus thing and like sun poisoning and an infection of some kind and yeah other stuff too. but yeah funny I'm talkin to Justin again. never thought we would be cool. but yeah nuthin gonna happen there. he has the hots for me but as for me to him. that's a no. Rachael is talkin now like I should go out with him. But I dunno I really just couldn't see myself going out with someone I've already gone out with. But anyways it was juvenile at the time. We were 14 and yeah. but anyways. there's this guy erick who I guess I'll call. Dunno he lives in Lynchburg VA. that's a lil too far away. and I am pretty sure he dosen't want a relationship...he just wants to get with me. even though I made it perfectly clear that I wasn't going to do that. so yeah got his # last sta. it's been a week so I'm thinkin I'll just call and hopefully I can just levae a message. And then on top of that there's this one guy from NY trying to get with me. He wants to meet me when he comes up. he said something about gettin a hotel room at the beach front. so I was like "how'd you get my name again"? so yeah I haven't checked my myspace yet since that. but w/e I'm not too worried about it. most guys are pigs and there just stupid so w/e. I seriously don't want a boyfriend for a while. unless some drop dead gorgeous guy comes along and sweeps me off my feet..it's gonna be a big ass NO. but yeah anyways. It was funny cause Conner told me that all guys want one thing. the funny thing was that he included himself. but yeah no cemistry there. Man last night chad was freakin high as a mother. he had like 6 benodryls. funny. I was right behind him with my thera-flu. mine was because I needed it though. I don't and won't...can't take meds just to take them like I did when i was his age. it'll mess you up. So found out I have insurance till I turn 19 which is in like not a long time. damn I am getting so fucking old. man I am gonna be 20 in like a year and a few months. I think I would like to be 21 forever. that's a good age to be.
MAn rachael is in NC again and I could have gone but school and work subjected me to stay. She's my drinkn buddy. We have so many drinking songs it's funny. They're all country songs too. which is hilarious. Been listening to alot of country music lately..none-the-less. haha. But naw country music and I are like peas and carrots now..lol
Anyways what else to talk about? Ok just talked to that one guy Erick and it took him like a few minutes to remember who I was. he said after a few minutes...who are you again? and then he was like oh yeah you were the one who I walked almost the whole way back to your car with... Seems to me like he needs help. see what was I talking about above? guys are dogs and they are idiots. so yeah he wanted me to call him tomorrow...guess who's not giving him a call? lol. w/e I have to many guys talking to me to care about one fish in the sea. too many others out there who have more to offer. thats the thing. I know every single person worries about the one they are supposed to be with. Will they find them? Me I'm not going to get hurt again until I know that it will be worth it. ok like Tony and I made out in Richmond and like he never even ucking called me. said he's been really "busy". w/e that's bullshit...fuck him. He was just good for the free alchohol and weed anyways. Plus I was feelin lonely then. Kinda am now but I'm not doing that again. It's sad that he got farther with me in like one day then greg ever did in 5 months. I figured that I can just go to peabodys and get the same affection I would with any relationship..haha. I mean dancing you get the closeness without getting intimate. I hate the thought f intamacy right now. when I see a couple kissing or holding eachother it makes me sick to my stomache. it makes me want to gag. guys as friends though are wonderful. I'd choose friends over boyfriends any day of the week.
wow this is the longest I've actually sat down and typed for a long time.
oh yeah and the singing thing I was gonna do. I seriously didn't want to be around all that shit. I just wanted a sain time to sing my heart out. I do still wnat that. I don't wanna be around weed when I sing or other drugs. But yeah that's why I never called Lavonna back. I guess she got the message after a few days. But anyways. I seriously need to get more friends who I can chill with. Like drinking buddies. Rachael is the only one and she lives in Richmond so that's not gonna do. but yeah I think one of my favs is a screwdriver and captain morgan. OMG and talking about captain morgans!! Like that shit makes me crazy right? seriously I like freakin went wild or something that night last weekend. after of course we left Justin's house. And he tried to make out with me!!! I was like "I'm not like that" he was like "it's not like we haven't done that beforE"...w/e so yeah like me and rachael were taking pix of ecahother and she has a few of me that are some what provogative and freakin her brother noah and her boyfriend rob were looking at them. so like noah said he was gonna put them on EZ women .com. I was like yeah ez women..haha that's a first. guess that's the kinda stuff alchohol will do to you.anyways...
I guess I better stop writing a novel..so l8ter
~Shelly~
seems like every possible physical thing that could go wrong with me has been going wrong and it sux. Like this stupid cough and sinus thing and like sun poisoning and an infection of some kind and yeah other stuff too. but yeah funny I'm talkin to Justin again. never thought we would be cool. but yeah nuthin gonna happen there. he has the hots for me but as for me to him. that's a no. Rachael is talkin now like I should go out with him. But I dunno I really just couldn't see myself going out with someone I've already gone out with. But anyways it was juvenile at the time. We were 14 and yeah. but anyways. there's this guy erick who I guess I'll call. Dunno he lives in Lynchburg VA. that's a lil too far away. and I am pretty sure he dosen't want a relationship...he just wants to get with me. even though I made it perfectly clear that I wasn't going to do that. so yeah got his # last sta. it's been a week so I'm thinkin I'll just call and hopefully I can just levae a message. And then on top of that there's this one guy from NY trying to get with me. He wants to meet me when he comes up. he said something about gettin a hotel room at the beach front. so I was like "how'd you get my name again"? so yeah I haven't checked my myspace yet since that. but w/e I'm not too worried about it. most guys are pigs and there just stupid so w/e. I seriously don't want a boyfriend for a while. unless some drop dead gorgeous guy comes along and sweeps me off my feet..it's gonna be a big ass NO. but yeah anyways. It was funny cause Conner told me that all guys want one thing. the funny thing was that he included himself. but yeah no cemistry there. Man last night chad was freakin high as a mother. he had like 6 benodryls. funny. I was right behind him with my thera-flu. mine was because I needed it though. I don't and won't...can't take meds just to take them like I did when i was his age. it'll mess you up. So found out I have insurance till I turn 19 which is in like not a long time. damn I am getting so fucking old. man I am gonna be 20 in like a year and a few months. I think I would like to be 21 forever. that's a good age to be.
MAn rachael is in NC again and I could have gone but school and work subjected me to stay. She's my drinkn buddy. We have so many drinking songs it's funny. They're all country songs too. which is hilarious. Been listening to alot of country music lately..none-the-less. haha. But naw country music and I are like peas and carrots now..lol
Anyways what else to talk about? Ok just talked to that one guy Erick and it took him like a few minutes to remember who I was. he said after a few minutes...who are you again? and then he was like oh yeah you were the one who I walked almost the whole way back to your car with... Seems to me like he needs help. see what was I talking about above? guys are dogs and they are idiots. so yeah he wanted me to call him tomorrow...guess who's not giving him a call? lol. w/e I have to many guys talking to me to care about one fish in the sea. too many others out there who have more to offer. thats the thing. I know every single person worries about the one they are supposed to be with. Will they find them? Me I'm not going to get hurt again until I know that it will be worth it. ok like Tony and I made out in Richmond and like he never even ucking called me. said he's been really "busy". w/e that's bullshit...fuck him. He was just good for the free alchohol and weed anyways. Plus I was feelin lonely then. Kinda am now but I'm not doing that again. It's sad that he got farther with me in like one day then greg ever did in 5 months. I figured that I can just go to peabodys and get the same affection I would with any relationship..haha. I mean dancing you get the closeness without getting intimate. I hate the thought f intamacy right now. when I see a couple kissing or holding eachother it makes me sick to my stomache. it makes me want to gag. guys as friends though are wonderful. I'd choose friends over boyfriends any day of the week.
wow this is the longest I've actually sat down and typed for a long time.
oh yeah and the singing thing I was gonna do. I seriously didn't want to be around all that shit. I just wanted a sain time to sing my heart out. I do still wnat that. I don't wanna be around weed when I sing or other drugs. But yeah that's why I never called Lavonna back. I guess she got the message after a few days. But anyways. I seriously need to get more friends who I can chill with. Like drinking buddies. Rachael is the only one and she lives in Richmond so that's not gonna do. but yeah I think one of my favs is a screwdriver and captain morgan. OMG and talking about captain morgans!! Like that shit makes me crazy right? seriously I like freakin went wild or something that night last weekend. after of course we left Justin's house. And he tried to make out with me!!! I was like "I'm not like that" he was like "it's not like we haven't done that beforE"...w/e so yeah like me and rachael were taking pix of ecahother and she has a few of me that are some what provogative and freakin her brother noah and her boyfriend rob were looking at them. so like noah said he was gonna put them on EZ women .com. I was like yeah ez women..haha that's a first. guess that's the kinda stuff alchohol will do to you.anyways...
I guess I better stop writing a novel..so l8ter
~Shelly~