New Love! UGH!

[crazybabybell05]

Hey ppl, wow, it's been what? like 2 months or so lol Anyways, My life is going ok i guess, could be better but ah, whatever. Well, lets see, school sucked ass this past yr. it was horrible. All i can do now is get better grades and pick up my GPA this upcoming fall. Oh, a huge thing happened, i suddenly got a call from Victor one night, yup, u read right, Victor. The guy i fucking hate w/ my everything. To my surprise, he called to tell me that he was sorry, that he apologizes and he never knew how much of a best friend i was to him, that he fucked up big time and never trully appreciated me. He said that if he was here, he would get on his kneew to tell me how sorry he was. He hoped i would forgive him for what he did to me. He made me cry cus i couldnt believe that he sucked up all his fucking pride to tell me he loved me and that he was sorry. I forgave him, but i'm not gonna forget what he did to me and i'm never EVER gonna talk to him again! ok and about my love life, oh God! lol Well, in Nov. of last year my neighbors nephew moved in w/ him. I didnt really pay that much attention since i had shit loads of things in my mind but early in the yr we started to know eachother a lil better. His name is Roberto but everyone calls him Beto so yeah. He's an awsome guy. He goes to TSTC, he needs one more yr to graduate, he works during the weekends, and well, what else can i say? lol, he's funny, he knows how to dance, he's outgoing, sarcastic, and i love his personality. I'm gonna be honest w/ u though, when i first saw him it hough he was fucking ugly and till today i still think he is lol but as i got to know him better i started to like him for who he was. We've gotten out to the movies and clubbing. oh, it turns out that he was Daena's neighbor b-4 he was mine so they already knew eachother, how weird is that? lol Anyways, We talk to eachother every day and i see him during the weekends. He doesnt really have the time to go out cus he goes to school from Mon. - Fri. and he works nights during the weekends but i still see him. ok, so u got the point of me liking him, and i know ur wondering "well, what about him?" well, all i know is that he likes being w/ me, he likes talking to me, he likes the way i think, and we have fun every time we're together but, here's the shoker guys......... he's waiting for someone. She was his ex g/f and they wanna get back together, the problem is...... she's in San Antonio....... in Jail. yup, that's right. she doesnt come home till Aug. or Sept. Sometimes i think that i'm just a replacement until she gets out. He's told me that he doesnt wanna start a relationship cus he doesnt wanna start it and then have to break it when she gets here and i've come to the conclusion that he's confused about his feelings. He needs to have this chick and me together in order to find out what he really feels. He knows i like him but he hasnt told me anything. I wish i can get over him cus i know that when she gets here, it's gonna hurt me like a bitch but i'm those type of ppl that live for the moment and hardly thinks about the future. I wanna have fun w/ him while it lasts eventhough it's gonna kill me in the end. So many ppl have told me that he's not worth it, that he doesnt know how to appreciate what he has right infront of him and he doesnt but i cant tell my fucking heart what to feel and it sux! Anywhom, i'm gonna stop typing cus this is long. lol. Well, g2g now. talk to u guys laters. toodles.

Luv lotz,
~Bell~