(no subject)
it is so so, so so so warm here right now. the sun was shining down on me all day, and i basked in its warmy goodness.
there really is nothing like getting away from everything for awhile, in fact, i think it may be the only true way to absolutely relax.
especially after having one of the most awful experiences in my life recently.
my grandmother passed away on March 28, her funeral was this past tuesday.
although she has been in and out of the hospital for the past 4 years since she had a mild stroke and complications galore, it was really, really hard trying to deal with what it meant, and how it is effecting my family. this is the first close-family death i've ever had to deal with.
i don't think i handled it especially well. i have been very heartbroken and moody, i apologise if my bad mood spilled uncontrollably onto others.
the funeral service was fine, despite the fact that it was held in the catholic church of my upbringing, where i never really paid much attention (good thing, or i might be even more screwed up than i am currently).
i did, however, pay a great deal of attention to what was said on tuesday, and i was very unhappy with the heavy handed propaganda the catholic church spews out.
that, coupled with the fact that the "brother" was adamant about pointing out that my family had opted for the (less favourable) casket-less memorial service, and how he referenced what he would be doing in the other ceremony at certain points in the one he was performing. very classy, buddy.
i find it very hard to swallow that we are living our lives to impress god. and to truely live, we have to follow a very rigid set of rules.
the fact that we weren't supposed to have a picture of my grandmother at her funeral service (because of the ceremony my family chose) was ultimately disappointing. something about the soul not being able to ascend from a picture? i'm not sure. we brought the picture anyway.
the gathering afterward and again in the evening was nice. i got to see a lot of family and have some real conversations, which is rare.
i'm not sure where i am now... certainly recuperated, but still lost in my thoughts.
thank you to my incredible friends for the cuddles and comfort, and making it a little easier to bear <3
there really is nothing like getting away from everything for awhile, in fact, i think it may be the only true way to absolutely relax.
especially after having one of the most awful experiences in my life recently.
my grandmother passed away on March 28, her funeral was this past tuesday.
although she has been in and out of the hospital for the past 4 years since she had a mild stroke and complications galore, it was really, really hard trying to deal with what it meant, and how it is effecting my family. this is the first close-family death i've ever had to deal with.
i don't think i handled it especially well. i have been very heartbroken and moody, i apologise if my bad mood spilled uncontrollably onto others.
the funeral service was fine, despite the fact that it was held in the catholic church of my upbringing, where i never really paid much attention (good thing, or i might be even more screwed up than i am currently).
i did, however, pay a great deal of attention to what was said on tuesday, and i was very unhappy with the heavy handed propaganda the catholic church spews out.
that, coupled with the fact that the "brother" was adamant about pointing out that my family had opted for the (less favourable) casket-less memorial service, and how he referenced what he would be doing in the other ceremony at certain points in the one he was performing. very classy, buddy.
i find it very hard to swallow that we are living our lives to impress god. and to truely live, we have to follow a very rigid set of rules.
the fact that we weren't supposed to have a picture of my grandmother at her funeral service (because of the ceremony my family chose) was ultimately disappointing. something about the soul not being able to ascend from a picture? i'm not sure. we brought the picture anyway.
the gathering afterward and again in the evening was nice. i got to see a lot of family and have some real conversations, which is rare.
i'm not sure where i am now... certainly recuperated, but still lost in my thoughts.
thank you to my incredible friends for the cuddles and comfort, and making it a little easier to bear <3