ugh so confused
I'm still in love with John and Matt. John and i talked for about 2 hours last night. I don't know, i can't get back with him. I don't want it to be over, but i know it has to be. I love Matt too but he's back with Melanie i think. I knew it would happen, i just didn't want it to. Oh well, i guess any hopes of him is ruined because of her. I thought that sooner or later, him and I would get back together... as usual, i was wrong. I guess i just have to stop obsessing over Jersey loves, and get over guys. I wish beyond all wishes that i could just be a lesbian but of course not... just ½ so. It sucks beyond everything in my life... i don't know though, maybe i'm crazy. I just wish all the pain would stop. I'm going to get over John as quickly as possible so as to avoid the pain. I'm more depressed than i can ever remember myself being... i never remember feeling this hopeless and worthless. Why is there no one out there for me? Am i destined for misery? I guess so... I got to go now. Later.
XoXoTrishaoXoX
XoXoTrishaoXoX