Jul 11, 2006 12:06
OK SO HURRICANS SUX lol they r way tpoo overrated... like i couldnt go out todaay and do anything b/c of the big bad hurrican WUT THE HECK I STILL HAVE POWER no big deal ok newayz
william took the necklce he had given me baack now its his necklace he gave it to me to wear this is the 1st nite in almost 3 months since i havent worn it ... i wore it the nite he broke up with me ... i dunno as long as i had that necklace i felt saafe i felt like he cares i felt like no matter wut i did i would have someone ... someone to run to someone to love even tho im doing alaot of bad things rite now i kno im doin things that r wrong im not denying it im just syin i want to do a couple of wrong things b4 i choose to do all the rite things i want to make sure its the kind of life i waant i dunno i just want to kno wut life is like on the flip side... im not proud of it its just wut im tryin to do rite now no one really understands how much i really do need him ... but just not as a aboyfriend rite now u kno its weird how friends will stick by u and then when u do summtin they dont agree with or cant handle its soooo wrong and they cnt be around u nymore i caan only think of ONE person who has done thaat for me threw the years and that is laauraa beth barder she stuck by me threw everything no matter how bad it got she was ALWAYS THERE FOR ME i lvoe her for it b/c i thank god everyday he gave me a friend like that... now i have kt too and she is the best too they r awesome so see i hve someone but its just not that i dont have anyone its that i dont have HIM o god i wish i could takae it all back
when he ripped it out of my hands
he had no idea wut he took
my heart and soul
was in that bag
and when he took it he took that with him too
he never knew
becuz i never showed him
i never thought id lose him
but when he took it back i knew he took his heart back too
u see i dont kno wut to do anymore i dont expect anyone to understand actually i dont really think anyone could unless they r doin wut im doing its the adventure the thrill the adrenaline of summtin new and exciting nad thats wut has ruined my life my need for that my need for the unknown... i cant explain it i just kno thats wut i need...
if my birth parents have taught me one thing it would be this .... keep in mind they have never seen me and ehen i contacted them they ignored me and will not answer my callz nemore AANYWAYZ wut they have taaught me is this
im not worth much to nyone and those that i am worth summtin to i alwayz end up hurting them no one wants me around for long i mean thats obviously y i go from friend to friend lol but who knows myb one day i wont believe them anymore rite ?
okay so newyz william is goin after mel im not sure how i feel bout it i mean im DEF. NOT MAD AT MEL i hve no rite to be and this couldnt and shouldnt ruin our friendship shes way kool and they would prob be good for one another ...i liked how she asked me bout it nd i told her the truth i wouldnt mind at all...then when william told me i burst into tears which i have no rite to do considering wut i have done since we broke up its just that i dunno i got a taste of wut hes been going threw and i understand it a lil more now and that makes it even worse im so angry with him rite now i dont kno y... he is the one who should hate me and im sure he does rite now but i guess i knew i was gona put him threw hell when this happen but i never thought it would be this bad and i def. didnt think we would ever be like this towards each other ... but we r and it sux but i should go now big nite tomorrow nite so yeh im gona go
bye guyz