wow, its been a while.
so its been quite some time since i posted, but i decided to since i have a minute to spare tonight. i am babysitting and have from 8-1am to do nothing but catch up on work from the week, mess around on the internet, and watch tv.
these little girls are the sweetest ever and they are so good. cutest names... natia, thalia, and vienna. this is only the third time i have sat here and its always so easy because they go to bed like angels and i sit and do my own thing the rest of the time.
my head is starting to spin and make me feel nauseous. its been almost two days since i have taken my medicine. i am still having some pretty bad lows even when i am on it consistently lately. they are not long or even more than a day usually... but i wonder if it is even worth it to stay on it. its just i know getting off of it would take months for my body to get used to and would include lots of tummy aches and probably even throwing up. addiction is scary when its prescribed. wow. i have been on the meds i am on currently for 2.5 years.... wow holy smokes. BUTTTT i have not had an actual depressive episode since them. i still question if its the meds or just circumstances. i know i definitely feel stronger. but... i also have a lot of love in my life. if i did not, i probably would be right back where i started. one thing that has never gone away, meds or not, is the desire to sleep long, drawn-out hours. i can EASILY sleep 12-15 hours nights and still be tired when i get out of bed. its horrible. bah.
on a brighter note, i will finally be done with school in may of this year. my grauation is may 16th!!!!! its crazy to imagine... 6.5 years of school. i am pretty terrribly scared. not that i wont find a job. im not too worried about that, but just that i actually have never been more than a few months since i was 4 without going to school. even between undergrad and grad school i only took off about 8 months. im quite ready to get some health insurance though. its been quite some time. i cant even file for my low-income rating plan at metro right now because i am making too much since i have been covering at my current job.
well.. i am going to go start some notes. nightnight all.