(no subject)
So, I was just listening to music, thinking about a lot of different things and I ended up writing a long drawn out email to "the boy" (Joe Kohlmann) from high school, asking him for advice. And now that I am sitting here at my computer listening to sappy music, I am realizing so much. I am amazingly blessed everyday. And, sadly, I take that for granted, even though I try not to.
Specifically, I am thinking about my life without certain people. And I'm realizing that it is going to come sooner than later and I am gonna be hit hard when it does happen. Some of the people that are most important to me are going to be off in other states, other countries by this time next year. I want people to know how I feel, but I'm so afraid to tell some of them sometimes. And I don't know why. I need to start to...all the time...
This was all fueled by looking at old posts and coming to find how much Desirae and I have grown close. I worry about you because I know how things affect you and I want to make them better and I simply cannot. Nothing I can say or do will make things less stressful. I try and think of little things that could make up for all the little and big things that are going on...but nothing seems adequate enough. So, I guess that I will just tell you that I love you with all my heart. I am so lucky to have you in my life, especially with the shit that I tend to pull when I am drunk. Yeah, so thank you. Thank you for being who you are and for being in my life. I believe in things happening for a reason. I was meant to move to Seattle to meet all of these wonderful people (some of them not so wonderful) and I was meant to meet this crazy ass fun girl with a huge heart. I hope that today goes a bit better than the rest of them. Have fun with your mum and I would love to hang out on Friday, anytime.
Wow, so now that I have made myself cry and got all sappy, I'm gonna go to bed listening to Ray LaMontagne. Tomorrow is gonna be a long day, but I think I might want to relax and end it at Dante's, seeing that I will have worked for 10 hours and gone through 2 and a half hours of volunteer orientation, (which, btw, I wish was over and I could just be hanging out with the kids! So if anyone wants to go, let me know!
Sweet dreams.
Specifically, I am thinking about my life without certain people. And I'm realizing that it is going to come sooner than later and I am gonna be hit hard when it does happen. Some of the people that are most important to me are going to be off in other states, other countries by this time next year. I want people to know how I feel, but I'm so afraid to tell some of them sometimes. And I don't know why. I need to start to...all the time...
This was all fueled by looking at old posts and coming to find how much Desirae and I have grown close. I worry about you because I know how things affect you and I want to make them better and I simply cannot. Nothing I can say or do will make things less stressful. I try and think of little things that could make up for all the little and big things that are going on...but nothing seems adequate enough. So, I guess that I will just tell you that I love you with all my heart. I am so lucky to have you in my life, especially with the shit that I tend to pull when I am drunk. Yeah, so thank you. Thank you for being who you are and for being in my life. I believe in things happening for a reason. I was meant to move to Seattle to meet all of these wonderful people (some of them not so wonderful) and I was meant to meet this crazy ass fun girl with a huge heart. I hope that today goes a bit better than the rest of them. Have fun with your mum and I would love to hang out on Friday, anytime.
Wow, so now that I have made myself cry and got all sappy, I'm gonna go to bed listening to Ray LaMontagne. Tomorrow is gonna be a long day, but I think I might want to relax and end it at Dante's, seeing that I will have worked for 10 hours and gone through 2 and a half hours of volunteer orientation, (which, btw, I wish was over and I could just be hanging out with the kids! So if anyone wants to go, let me know!
Sweet dreams.