Look Up!
I use to think that I had all the answers to all my problems.....that was back when I did drugs. Well, needless to say, it has been a very very very long time since I have even touched those kind of things. Now, all my solutions become just one thing...or should I say one person. Christian! Ever since October, 10th 2000 my life has changed more than just day by day, it's now minute by minute and second by second. I can't believe that I have been so extremely blessed with such of an amazing God given angel. I don't know where I would be without him, and I don't think I want to know. Since Christian, I have been though a few different relationships knowing that they wanted nothing to do with me as a "mother" but only as a "play thing". And as sad as it may sound, I was okay with that. Now, and for about the last two years some people just except things how they are even when they don't expect it. No one wants baggage in a relationship, but then again what ONE person on Gods green earth doesn't have some sort of baggage? Children, bad family up bringing, drug issues, relationship phobias, and the list goes on and on. I wear my heart on my sleeve and i wouldn't have it any other way. To have any sort of relationship , whether it's romantic or just friends, you ALWAYS have to be brutally honest with each other. Yes, words may hurt but in the long run things always seem to work themselves out. Everything happens for a reason!!!!! I said it once and I will continue to say it for the rest of my life, If you don't think you can handle what I have to offer and my baggage then leave before you even get here. I would not put anyone before my son. I think anyone who knows me knows that I stand by that "phrase". The point behind this journal entry was merely to get it out of my head and onto the screen. The subject of this journal is "Look Up" which means although I have my free will to do my everyday deeds, I still look up to God for strength in everything I do. Every night, as I close my eyes for bed, I thank God for the day he has given to me, although it wasn't the best of days, I have to thank Him that I am healthy and happy with the life that was chosen for me. And in closing.......Thank you!