I hate posting two in one day but I am.
I'm starting to feel so isolated. I don't ever see my "friends" and can't talk to them, we have nothing to talk about. People only talk to me when they are on their own or when they have something insulting to say. I'm sick of it. I've aad it all my life but now people don't even use me. I'm just left alone.
And this is a time when I need friends most as I'm ill and I don't know whats wrong with me and I am failing so behind with coursework, and I only have this computer to take my mind off things, but now my brother has this new game and he is on it more, so now I'm going to be more paranoid.
I'm so desperate now that I'm trying to meet my online friends but something always gets in the way. I get the feeling 75% don't even like me a bit anyway, and just find me annoying.
Grr going to the doctors tomorrow, they keep never sorting it out in one go, its taken three years for them just to guess something better than the guesses before!
Yes I have never had a best friend to stab me in the back, I've never had my heart broken, I have a good family - yes they have their down sides but they are okay - and I'm not poor, and other things that I've forgotten to put but I'm unhappy. What use is it if I have no one to talk to, nowhere to go, nothing to do other than the pile of coursework, keep being ill and nothing to take my mind off it, no one to love, no one to just be my friend.
People say get counseling but I've had it and I got better on my own, as they fucking suggested seroxac which has now been banned for children as it made them MORE suicidal!
I'm TRYING to be more positive, people think my randomness is stupid, well I'm just trying to make things more fun.
I really don't know what to do. I just feel so...bland?
And this is a time when I need friends most as I'm ill and I don't know whats wrong with me and I am failing so behind with coursework, and I only have this computer to take my mind off things, but now my brother has this new game and he is on it more, so now I'm going to be more paranoid.
I'm so desperate now that I'm trying to meet my online friends but something always gets in the way. I get the feeling 75% don't even like me a bit anyway, and just find me annoying.
Grr going to the doctors tomorrow, they keep never sorting it out in one go, its taken three years for them just to guess something better than the guesses before!
Yes I have never had a best friend to stab me in the back, I've never had my heart broken, I have a good family - yes they have their down sides but they are okay - and I'm not poor, and other things that I've forgotten to put but I'm unhappy. What use is it if I have no one to talk to, nowhere to go, nothing to do other than the pile of coursework, keep being ill and nothing to take my mind off it, no one to love, no one to just be my friend.
People say get counseling but I've had it and I got better on my own, as they fucking suggested seroxac which has now been banned for children as it made them MORE suicidal!
I'm TRYING to be more positive, people think my randomness is stupid, well I'm just trying to make things more fun.
I really don't know what to do. I just feel so...bland?