Apr 13, 2010 18:03
its funny in life how things happen all at once.
when i think i have it figured out my mind is blown with all i didnt know. or all that i didnt want to admit. to myself or anyone else.
emotions are a strange thing we have to deal with. recently i have come to understand that i was letting them control my life. and i now know i am the one in control. not my emotions.
and honesty above all is what i need. honesty isnt confusing or unclear. the truth is just that...truth. straight up. i know what i want and whats right and wrong. i just need to be honest with myself, situations and the people around me. thats the only way to truly find and accept love. which is what i want and need.
and on some level i feel like im being a bit dramatic or oversensitive. but then i realize if i feel this way its not dramatic or crazy. its the truth. its the now and all i can do is deal with now. whats in front of me and thats all i can handle at one time.
and not to say that i dont think about the future or the past but that i understand all i can control in this world is me and how i react. right now. in this moment. i cant go back or ahead. until i deal with the right now.
and letting go is essential to my well being. to my sanity. which i think can lead me to a calm place. to a center where i can just be and not worry about fear or regret.
i need to meditate.