to the men
You know I started writing this big poetic and sappy post about men i loved and loved me back, men who couldn't love me, men who I didn't love back. But why not just put it out there?
Being rejected SUCKS.
Rejecting someone SUCKS.
Trying to be friends with someone who rejected you sometimes HURTs (even though you know they were wrong for you anyway).
Trying to be friends with someone whom you ended a long relationship with is hard. You wish you could be close with them but after a while you both just kind of move on with your lives and although you know that's what's right it still hurts because you remember how close you were before. (obviously i talked to D from California this week). I've watched two men I've loved deeply move on to get married (each within a year) after I ended things with them, and I'm still single. This usually doesn't bother me. I've been so focused on my career, and figuring out who I am and what I want in life (all fine things to be figuring out). But sometimes I wonder if I coudln't have been doign the figuring with either of them. Well, maybe not the first one, he was a cocky arrogant ass. Well maybe not the second one, he wanted a normal life. I wanted a life of adventure, and mystery, and leaping without a net, and risks, and strangers, and weird foods, and weird people, and New York. And now I have that. So maybe now I want intimacy too. and cupcakes.
Being rejected SUCKS.
Rejecting someone SUCKS.
Trying to be friends with someone who rejected you sometimes HURTs (even though you know they were wrong for you anyway).
Trying to be friends with someone whom you ended a long relationship with is hard. You wish you could be close with them but after a while you both just kind of move on with your lives and although you know that's what's right it still hurts because you remember how close you were before. (obviously i talked to D from California this week). I've watched two men I've loved deeply move on to get married (each within a year) after I ended things with them, and I'm still single. This usually doesn't bother me. I've been so focused on my career, and figuring out who I am and what I want in life (all fine things to be figuring out). But sometimes I wonder if I coudln't have been doign the figuring with either of them. Well, maybe not the first one, he was a cocky arrogant ass. Well maybe not the second one, he wanted a normal life. I wanted a life of adventure, and mystery, and leaping without a net, and risks, and strangers, and weird foods, and weird people, and New York. And now I have that. So maybe now I want intimacy too. and cupcakes.