"what does it take, to get a drink in this place..."
this past weekend i went to jersey. i passed time in the streets during the day shopping aimlessly in stores i couldnt afford anything but water in, and at night drank myself into alcohol-induced comas. the nights seem to drift by, and every other night i was taken home by a new girl. one that wouldnt care after she had left for work the morning and left me in her bed, nor be able to account of who i was when she returned. yes, i continued this nightly until my feelings were...til i had no feelings, no account of what i was doing, saying, or wishing. until all the world around me was simply a blur yet moved in slow motion. until i was completely numb. i think more people were ashamed of me more than i was of myself, but then again, i was too numb to care anyway. i ate only to get by, and spent my last night in town staring at the ceiling of a new apartment next to a girl, that well, i couldnt even recall her name... Jersey, where i want to be, this is where i want to be. i left without an accomplishment to a goal that i never had. "to love, and to be loved"...hmm, i'll keep that in mind.