"i am the spider, i am the spider, crawl inside her..."

[crackthesky24]

LIGHT THE WORLD ON FIRE JUST TO WATCH IT BURN...college can piss off, more than that, a&p can piss off, i f-in hate those damn exams, i've failed 2 of them, im not passing the f-in class, and im on the verge of just dropping the sh-tty 2 hours of my life, and it's not because i dont know the sh-t cause i sure as hell do, it's cause i always screw up somehow on a test and exams, thursday we have a lab exam, then next tuesday we have another lab exam, if i dont pass both of those, im gonna have to drop this f-in class, and have to take it again next semester, f-k that, i have to pass, but i just got completely bitched out by my parents who are just like, "you just dont study enough, only the night before you try and cram it..." that is bullsh-t they dont listen when i say, "i f-in try and memorize and study all this throughout the week, but it seems like what i know, isnt even but a small portion of the test...so you know how im gonna fix this sh-t, im gonna study all night tonight, until 1 in the morning, get a tiny bit of sleep, pray i dont have a vocabulary test tomorrow for english (im pretty sure i dont), nope i dont i just called gene, somewhere in between tonight and tomorrow i have to finish a page and a half paper on how my sleep patterns effect my day time moods etc (this shouldnt be tough) see im also considering not going into medicine, not just because of a&p cause i know i can pull off passing it, it's just i dont know for sure, but i've been thinking about since i like to write, and i can write pretty well, why not work for a music magazine as a journalist or something...it sounds like a plan to me, i dont know yet, it's still all up in the air, anyway back to the list of sh-t to do, i still have to figure up the sh-t im going to write about for the history research paper, as well as start on the english research paper which really isnt a paper per say, but 8 assignments that i have to do such as interviews which i should enjoy, and so on, just crap that becomes one big grade, i also, in the middle of this week have to begin studying for a sleeping and dreaming test coming up in psychology....ahhh dammit dammit dammit, so much crap...i just want a break, mainly from everything, i just wish that a&p didnt exist, i wish i wasnt on the f-in borderline, cause not i have to work back up, i wish my parents would just say, okay, if youre gonna drop it, youre just gonna have to pay for it when you take it again and accept that, i tried, and failed, so now i'll try and try again, "you'll dying trying to live this down...you mine as well forget it"...the only good thing about today, is the i bought the newest rilo kiley cd "more adventurous" and i enjoy being depressed again, such sad sad songs, but so catchy...that's all...

STILL IM CONVINCED, WONDERING WHAT-IF, IS THE WORST THING THERE IS...yeah id have to agree with you on that one john, wondering what-if is the most powerful hindering thought ever...and i use it way too much...

I LIVE WITH WOE...