(no subject)
Advice for the Evil Overlord/Genius:
-If I need one liter of my secret formula to implement my Diabolical Plan, I will produce ten liters and store the other nine safely in different caches.
-I will never place they key to a cell just out of a prisoner's reach.
-I will make several ludicrously erroneous maps to secret passages in my fortress and hire travelers to entrust them to aged hermits.
-Although it would provide amusement, I will not confess to the hero's rival that I was the one who committed the heinous act for which he blames the hero.
Advice for the Hero:
-I will not keep information secret in order to prevent widespread hysteria; it never works.
-My loyal, trusted and heavily armed bady guards will always be on hand.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Overlord's Wicked but Beautiful Daughter):
-Make up your mind now whether you want to marry the Hero or slowly cut him into little pieces. Do not attempt the latter until you have given up on the former.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Henchman):
-If the Hero you are sent after dresses entirely in black, he is even more dangerous than the Evil Overlord suspects; double all requisitions for men and firepower.
Advice for the Good Auxiliary Character (Good Guy's One True Love):
-If I have a copy of the Evil Overlord's plans and my capture is imminent, I will not send the only copy of those plans away with a cute little sidekick. I will make many copies of the plans and send them away with many cute little sidekicks.
-My clothing and footwear will always be appropriate for the occasion. It will enable me to run, climb, and fight, and will hide as large an assortment of personal weaponry as is practical. It will also protect me from frostbite and hypothermia. If my clothing becomes torn in a manner which threatens to kill me from exposure or transform me into cheesecake, I'll steal a jacket from some bad guy. As I am confident that my charm, loyalty and wit are enough to maintain the Hero's love, the harem girl outfit is reserved for private moments when we are living happily ever after.
-Since liberated women are still allowed to have it both ways, I will not rule out using my womanly wiles to defeat the Evil Overlord. Even if it only works on Stupid Bad Guys, it never hurts to try.
Advice for the Good Auxiliary Character (Innocent Bystander):
-Learn to control sneezing, coughing, and other bodily noises so that you won't give yourself away when you're trying to hide from tyrannosaurs, henchmen, etc.
-When a Bad Guy uses you for a human shield, certain delicate areas of his body are in striking range of your heel. Go for it.
Further Evil (Advice for the Evil Empress):
-My poison-fanged or -clawed beast minions will not be spiders, snakes and ravens, but kittens, goldfish, and canaries.
-If I know the Hero is an old lover of mine and he isn't aware of it, I will keep it to myself. I can better exploit his weaknesses and my other intimate knowledge about him if I don't allow my identity to be revealed.
-I will not try to turn a son (even mine) against his father, no matte how estranged they are. Blood relatives can be annoyingly sentimental.
Murphy's Laws of Combat:
-The more the weapon costs, the farther away you will have to send it to be repaired.
-The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
-Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
-Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.
-When all else fails, read the instructions.
-Interchangeable parts aren't.
-Always keep in mind that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
-If I need one liter of my secret formula to implement my Diabolical Plan, I will produce ten liters and store the other nine safely in different caches.
-I will never place they key to a cell just out of a prisoner's reach.
-I will make several ludicrously erroneous maps to secret passages in my fortress and hire travelers to entrust them to aged hermits.
-Although it would provide amusement, I will not confess to the hero's rival that I was the one who committed the heinous act for which he blames the hero.
Advice for the Hero:
-I will not keep information secret in order to prevent widespread hysteria; it never works.
-My loyal, trusted and heavily armed bady guards will always be on hand.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Overlord's Wicked but Beautiful Daughter):
-Make up your mind now whether you want to marry the Hero or slowly cut him into little pieces. Do not attempt the latter until you have given up on the former.
Advice for the Bad Auxiliary Character (Evil Henchman):
-If the Hero you are sent after dresses entirely in black, he is even more dangerous than the Evil Overlord suspects; double all requisitions for men and firepower.
Advice for the Good Auxiliary Character (Good Guy's One True Love):
-If I have a copy of the Evil Overlord's plans and my capture is imminent, I will not send the only copy of those plans away with a cute little sidekick. I will make many copies of the plans and send them away with many cute little sidekicks.
-My clothing and footwear will always be appropriate for the occasion. It will enable me to run, climb, and fight, and will hide as large an assortment of personal weaponry as is practical. It will also protect me from frostbite and hypothermia. If my clothing becomes torn in a manner which threatens to kill me from exposure or transform me into cheesecake, I'll steal a jacket from some bad guy. As I am confident that my charm, loyalty and wit are enough to maintain the Hero's love, the harem girl outfit is reserved for private moments when we are living happily ever after.
-Since liberated women are still allowed to have it both ways, I will not rule out using my womanly wiles to defeat the Evil Overlord. Even if it only works on Stupid Bad Guys, it never hurts to try.
Advice for the Good Auxiliary Character (Innocent Bystander):
-Learn to control sneezing, coughing, and other bodily noises so that you won't give yourself away when you're trying to hide from tyrannosaurs, henchmen, etc.
-When a Bad Guy uses you for a human shield, certain delicate areas of his body are in striking range of your heel. Go for it.
Further Evil (Advice for the Evil Empress):
-My poison-fanged or -clawed beast minions will not be spiders, snakes and ravens, but kittens, goldfish, and canaries.
-If I know the Hero is an old lover of mine and he isn't aware of it, I will keep it to myself. I can better exploit his weaknesses and my other intimate knowledge about him if I don't allow my identity to be revealed.
-I will not try to turn a son (even mine) against his father, no matte how estranged they are. Blood relatives can be annoyingly sentimental.
Murphy's Laws of Combat:
-The more the weapon costs, the farther away you will have to send it to be repaired.
-The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
-Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
-Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.
-When all else fails, read the instructions.
-Interchangeable parts aren't.
-Always keep in mind that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.