i should be used to it...
This may not be very long.. cuz i have to go pick my mom back up from work... and help her out a little..yea she let me keep the truck today.. ya know I was super excited of my dad giving me the car.. yea well that was just a big slap in the face..i'm not getting the car... i'm not getting the couch..i'm gettin blankets and lamps... WOW isn't that GREAT!!!! like omg i can jump on a blanket and fly around or just put some gas in the lamp.. he led me on for 2 weeks saying he was gonna take car of everything.. and THEN yesterday morning he calls and tells me that he's probably going to be selling the car because of child support... OMG I don't even get the couch i HELPED pick out.. OH and all the stuffed animals i ever gave him, he's gettin rid of cuz his "girlfriend" is allergic to dust.. i mean wtf.. Oh and something cam to me when i crying i n my bed last night that.. when he and i lived in our apartment he SWORE to me that he'd never leave me.. (ok i know mesa's not that far away but still) He's leaving me for a fucking girlfriend! AGAIN!!! once back in 7th grade when he decided to move to 3 points and now he's going to fucking mesa!!!! i don't know why i feel almost completely deserted by my dad and a total neive daughter..that believed everything her dad said..he's promised me so many things And NOT one of them has been made no one..so i should be pretty used to his lieing right...yea well i realized last night i'm not.. but oh fucking well... shit happens right?/
I feel bad for ben though i kinda broke down on ben..last night.. i had a fit becuase i didn't want him drinking with his friends tthat went and got more girls to come.. he ended up goign home because i was making a big deal about it.. in a way i feel bad in a way i don't... drinking never leads to good things.. all though sometimes it's great,, other's when it come s t o the guys and GIRLS NOPE i don't like it.. so he got all pissed at me.. and today he's being grouchy and when i confront him on it he tells me he's not.. maybe he's tired.. ugh i don' t know... my main problem is my dad... idon't know what to do.. i want to tell him how i feel.. but the only thing that has stopped me from doing this was the fact ben and i had dinner with them one night,... and he seemed really happy and i really don't want to be the reason why he's not.. i just don't want him to get hurt...
good thing is i'll be able to spend some time with bethie tonight hopefully...and i can wind down with her.. i miss my bethie.. ben wanted to do something but when i tried to see if he wanted to do anything before he went to work.. he said he tried and than never called but it's way past one so he's already at work.... i don't know what's going on.. but unfortunely i' m a strong beilever on "everything happens for a reason" so i just got to wait for the reason to surface..
well i got to finish laundry.. bethie when you get back from your "neighbor hood party" (i called your house and thats' what your dad said" call or txt me ok?? hope your having fun =)))