(no subject)
Wow... this year is flying by.
It's June now, and.. well, it will be July in a couple of days.
I'm finally done with high school. I've been waiting for this moment the past four years of my life.. and for some reason, I don't like it. It actually just hit me... I keep thinking I'm going to wake up early and drive to school tomorrow.. I was just watching the graduation on tv. I wanted to hear myself sing.. mainly because I'm over critical of my self, and because everyone said it sounded great, I wanted to judge for myself. But.. anyway..
Just now, a week later, it hit me that I'm never going back to that place. I don't know what to do. That performing arts wing has been my home that last four years, and I don't know what I will do without it. I'm so excited for college, and I have orientation tomorrow and I can't wait! But, a part of me wants to go back into the choir room, curl up and never leave.
The memories, the conversations, the people I've met. They will last me a life time. I no longer have Katie Baldwin as a teacher, so now we can hang out normally.. but, I don't know.. I have this feeling, in the pit of my stomach, and.. I don't know, nostalgic I guess. I don't think I'm doing a good job explaining this in words, but I'm trying to anyway. I will never be apart of that school again. Now, when I go back, I'll be an outsider, The walls will be the same, but the feeling, and emotion will be different. That school was one of the few places I felt where I belonged. I've been all over that school, in hidden rooms, places most students have never been. And, I know that the memories that were shared there, and the times we had.. will never be the same. I think it also has a lot to do with the fact that the auditorium, when I come back won't be the same as when we left it. That place was my home.. But even more than that. the choir room, mr. taylors office, the band room, bobiaks office, mrs baldwins office, and I hate to say it, the black box. I will miss it all. I'll never look around the school again and say, I belong.
I'm such a loser, I got all nostalgic when I was cleaning out my locker. Again, that was mine for four years. and now some new freshman will have it for their stay. I get sentimental over small things I guess. But, that entire school holds all different memories for me, as I'm sure it is for everyone else, but.. I feel when I come back to visit, The memory I have of a particular place, will be gone, and exchanged for an outsiders feeling, a feeling of uncomfort, and a feeling of not belonging. I don't know.. should I be feeling like this?
Whatever.. I have to go get stuff ready for tomorrow.
It's June now, and.. well, it will be July in a couple of days.
I'm finally done with high school. I've been waiting for this moment the past four years of my life.. and for some reason, I don't like it. It actually just hit me... I keep thinking I'm going to wake up early and drive to school tomorrow.. I was just watching the graduation on tv. I wanted to hear myself sing.. mainly because I'm over critical of my self, and because everyone said it sounded great, I wanted to judge for myself. But.. anyway..
Just now, a week later, it hit me that I'm never going back to that place. I don't know what to do. That performing arts wing has been my home that last four years, and I don't know what I will do without it. I'm so excited for college, and I have orientation tomorrow and I can't wait! But, a part of me wants to go back into the choir room, curl up and never leave.
The memories, the conversations, the people I've met. They will last me a life time. I no longer have Katie Baldwin as a teacher, so now we can hang out normally.. but, I don't know.. I have this feeling, in the pit of my stomach, and.. I don't know, nostalgic I guess. I don't think I'm doing a good job explaining this in words, but I'm trying to anyway. I will never be apart of that school again. Now, when I go back, I'll be an outsider, The walls will be the same, but the feeling, and emotion will be different. That school was one of the few places I felt where I belonged. I've been all over that school, in hidden rooms, places most students have never been. And, I know that the memories that were shared there, and the times we had.. will never be the same. I think it also has a lot to do with the fact that the auditorium, when I come back won't be the same as when we left it. That place was my home.. But even more than that. the choir room, mr. taylors office, the band room, bobiaks office, mrs baldwins office, and I hate to say it, the black box. I will miss it all. I'll never look around the school again and say, I belong.
I'm such a loser, I got all nostalgic when I was cleaning out my locker. Again, that was mine for four years. and now some new freshman will have it for their stay. I get sentimental over small things I guess. But, that entire school holds all different memories for me, as I'm sure it is for everyone else, but.. I feel when I come back to visit, The memory I have of a particular place, will be gone, and exchanged for an outsiders feeling, a feeling of uncomfort, and a feeling of not belonging. I don't know.. should I be feeling like this?
Whatever.. I have to go get stuff ready for tomorrow.