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My motivation has sort of picked up a bit. Even though it will take some time to wear down the "Slug" label I have give myself lately, I did some walking and thinking again. Actually it started out just wanting to get away from everyone. Not being antisocial, just anti-them at that moment. I have not posted much in a while, but there has been
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Something came to mind, which might or might not be the case. So I'll just throw it out there. If it helps, use it. If not, leave it aside.
You talked about the parental differences, the family politics, the tug of war. Ask yourself how much of that tug of war comes from your internal interpretations and imaginings, and how much really comes from what is said to you. It is a useful exercise when things get strained: Pull in a bit, and concentrate on what is literally being said.
To put it differently: It's the difference between fact and opinion. The fact is what people actually say. The opinion is how you spin it inside your own head. You can't help but spin things. In fact, if you didn't spin things you'd be behind the curve. But sometimes the spin can get out of control. So it's worth examining: What is the text, and what is the interpretation?
To put it yet differently: Maybe you don't need to take sides as much as you think you need to take sides. Here's a humbling thought, my friend: Maybe their relationship will be what it'll be regardless of you, and maybe it is still evolving. Now aren't those scary thoughts.
On the comforting side: Maybe they care more deeply for you than you can possibly imagine, and maybe we do too. Take care my friend.
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