(no subject)
omg omg omg.... anyway... so... after ... der... what's his name... joe... I GOT THE FUCK OUTTA THERE... SO ... I CHILLED UP AND DOWN WEST HOLLYWOOD... WHICH IS OTHERWISE KNOWN AS "BOYS TOWN"... RIGHT? WELL I'M LIKE... OH GOOD... MAYBE I'LL FIND A GAY STRIP JOINT... NOPE... MAYBE A GOGO DANCING THING... NOPE... YOU KNOW... I FOUND 3 GIRL STRIP JOINTS... BUT NO GAY STRIP JOINTS... WELL THAT SUCKED... THE LIBRARY WAS CLOSED BECAUSE IT WAS SUNDAY...SO I WAS LIKE... FUCK IT... I'M NOT GOING BACK TO ASIAN JOE... EVEN THOUGH HE HAD A NICE PLACE... I AIN'T GETTN' NO LICKEDY LICK LICK... FROM THAT DICK... ANYWAY... SO I'M CHILLIN ... LOOKIN FOR A PARK TO SLEEP IN... BUT I GET TIRED ... SO I SIT DOWN AND START PLAYING TETRIS ON THE STOOP. SO I SEE THIS KID... RIGHT??? AND HE'S DANCING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET... AND I'M ALL "...HEHE FAG"... BUT ONLY IN MY HEAD... BUT HE SEES ME LOOKING AT HIM... AND I'M LIKE... FUCK... HE'S GONNA START TALKING TO ME... SO THIS KID WALKS UP TO ME... HE'S ALL "ARE YOU HOMELESS?" ... HOW THE FUCK DID HE KNOW??? I DON'T LOOK HOMELESS... ASSHOLE... ANYWAY... DESCRIPTION: THIS MOTHA FUCKA'S NAME WAS TONY... HE WAS 100% NATIVE AMERICAN... HE HAD A RETAINER FAKE TOOTH ... LIKE KEN... HIS NOSE WAS SO FUCKING FAT... SHEESH... I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING HE WAS SAYING BECAUSE OF HIS RETAINER... HES HAD A VERY SPITTY GAY VOICE... I WAS LIKE... AH HELL'S NO. SO...I'M LIKE "YEAH I'M HOMELESS" ... HE'S ALL "DO YOU NEED MONEY" HE SAID IT A LOT LESS CLEARLY AND A LOT MORE SPITTY... GROSS... THEN I WAS LIKE "YEP" SO HIM AND I CHILL... HE BUYS SOME ALCOHOL AND WE GET DRUNK OUTSIDE... THIS KID... HE WAS FUCKED. HE WAS ALL..."DO YOU WANNA KNOW WHERE I GOT THESE SCARS? MY EX-BOYFRIEND *STARTS TEARING* GOT PISSED BECAUSE HE THOUGHT I WAS FLIRTING WITH SOMEONE ELSE... AND HE PICKED ME UP AND THREW ME DOWN ON A GLASS TABLE... BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH" I'M LIKE... MMHMM MHMMM MHMM MHMM MHMM... YEP YEP YPE... WHATEVER... I WAS DRUNK... SO THEN ... HE TAKES ME TO THIS ROOF IN HOLLYWOOD... AND WE CLIMB UP THIS LATTER... AND HE WAS LIKE... ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL... AND I'M ALL "NO" ... IDIOT... THEN... I'M LIKE... ALRIGHT... THIS KIDS GAY... I'M GONNA TRY AND DITCH HIM... BUT I COULDN'T ... SO THEN WE CHILL ON THIS STOOP... AND HE'S ALL... DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE SHOOMA SHAMBA IS? ... ALL LIKE... YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW... RIGHT? I'M LIKE NO... AND HE'S ALL... SHOW ME YOUR DICK AND I'LL TELL YOU... AND I'M ALL ... WHAT WHY?... AND HE'S ALL ... I DON'T KNOW YOU'RE A COP... I'M LIKE ... WHAT?? AND HE'S ALL YOU COULD BE WIRED... I'M ALL... WHY DO I HAVE TO SHOW YOU MY DICK? ... .... ANYWAY... I SHOWED HIM MY DICK... HE JUST WANTED TO SEE MY DICK... COP MY ASS... FUCKING IDIOT... ANYWAY... THE SHOOMA SHANGA ... HE SAID WAS THE REAL PLACE HE GOT THOSE SCARES... HE WAS ALL "I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU BEFORE... BUT... I'M A PROSTITUTE.." WELL... I WAS LIKE SO THIS IS WHAT THEY MEAN WHEN THEY SAY 5 CENT WHORE... UGLY FUCK... I DIDN'T BELIEVE HIM... LYING FAG. ANYWAY... DERP. HE WAS LIKE "THE SHOOMA SHANGA IS A PLACE WHERE WHORES GO AND PEOPLE FUCK YOU AND GRAB YOU" I'M LIKE THAT'S IT?... ANYWAY... WE GO TO A PARK IN WEST HOLLYWOOD... AND I FALL ASLEEP... AND THEN HE LIES NEXT TO ME... AND IS LIKE... CAN I TASTE YOU? ... AND I WAS LIKE NO... BUT I LET HIM SLEEP NEXT TO ME BECAUSE HE WAS FAT AND WARM... ANYWAY... I WOKE UP EARLY AND HE WAS ASLEEP... SO I WAS LIKE "RUN!!!" SO I RAN AWAY AND FELL ASLEEP ON SOME SECRET STAIRCASE... AND THEN I WOKE UP... AND WENT TO THE LIBRARY ... AND THEN WOULDN'T YOU FUCKING KNOW IT ... OUT OF NOWHERE "BRIAN"... WHERE THE FUCK DID THIS GAYTIVE AMERICAN COME FROM? AND I'M LIKE ... FUCK... AND I'M ALL..."HEY!"... I HAD NO FUCKING EXCUSE WHY AS TO WHY I DITCHED HIM... BUT IT WASN'T A BIG DEAL TO HIM FOR SOME REASON... SO THEN... DERP.... HE BOUGHT ME A STARBUX HOT CHOC... AND I WAS LIKE... GOTTA GO... TO THE... LIBRARY... BUT THEN I DISCOVERED I LOST MY WALLET... .FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK... I NEVER FOUND IT. OH WELL... I DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING IN THERE ANYWAY... OH WELL... MORE STORIES L8TER.
PEACE OUT
-BRIAN
PEACE OUT
-BRIAN