but i swear in the days still left
"You can tell the sun in his jealous skies when we walked in fields of gold.."
So dad requested that i update today. lol. Things have been getting increasingly more crazy. Lots of schoolwork -- a year ago i would have thought that it would be impossible to do this. But i'm holding on, and that makes me want to go even further. So i'm sitting here with an IBC rootbeer, knowing well that I need to get up in 8 hours and bus to the NH Champs race.. But oh, how i need to express myself!
I thought for a long time that living was like walking down a long path. I do believe I've told someone about this before.. Anyway, an immeasurable amount of things pass you by and the few things that you do pick up, or notice and comment on, are symbolic of the relationships we have with others. But right now it feels as though life is a huge whirlwind that blows around us, as we struggle to stay standing in the same place, and flail our arms around trying to catch what we can from the tornado. It's like spinning really fast and focussing on one thing.. the room just keeps spinning. Maybe life is more like that?
Regardless of if it is or not, life is all about the center. Our center. It's different for everyopne. I told the girls a while ago about an experience i had this summer while taking a jazz class. As we descended into a stratle split, as usual, we let our heads be heavy and rested out weight on our elbows. What a painful thing. But this time, i felt everything coming in through the tips of every extension off of me, and going out at the same speed. But all of it fed from and was fed to my center. I felt everything, deep inside me in those few minutes (not even.) And as the pain burned as a big fiery ball inside of me, i was comforted. I had a good friend named Kelly who is in college now. I'll never forget what she said once. She had made a similar realization.. and she said that all good things come from pain. This is debatable, but i certaintly felt it then.. But ahh, that is for another entry.
Another thing life is all about is ballance. Ballance is so unbelievably complicated that if it were to be a physical thing it could in no possible way every be placed down in a way where it would not tip. Not only is it enormous, it is also very intricate. But what happens if we find ballance in our lives? Are we ballanced enough to find ballance in the first place? I always found it interesting how few people can ballance with their eyes closed. I know girls with rock solid ballances at dance that cant stay aligned with their eyes shut for the life of them. Why? We need something to focus on. But when you apply that to real life, and stop using dance as a metaphor.. what could possibly be great enough to have such a huge effect on the proportions of your life?
That has a lot more questions then the center.. mostly becuase there is so much more for me to know that i have not even come across yet. The last thing is to relax. Another unbelievably complex thing what would be unable to relax itself if it were made man. But thats whats special ---- relaxation, as an idea noun, can never be put in physical form. Things or people can bring us relaxation, but whenever it is felt, it has not been given to one.. it has been evoked in them. we all have deep inside us (possibly in our center) a very calm, smooth power that is particularly fine.. Foreign at the same time, like warm water woven into something. It can be brought out at the most inopportune moments, like in the middle of a stretch, in a crowded hall, or in a flawlessly quiet room. But it's something you can't find by looking for it. It has to come out by it's own will, and can leave as briskly as it arrived.
So dad requested that i update today. lol. Things have been getting increasingly more crazy. Lots of schoolwork -- a year ago i would have thought that it would be impossible to do this. But i'm holding on, and that makes me want to go even further. So i'm sitting here with an IBC rootbeer, knowing well that I need to get up in 8 hours and bus to the NH Champs race.. But oh, how i need to express myself!
I thought for a long time that living was like walking down a long path. I do believe I've told someone about this before.. Anyway, an immeasurable amount of things pass you by and the few things that you do pick up, or notice and comment on, are symbolic of the relationships we have with others. But right now it feels as though life is a huge whirlwind that blows around us, as we struggle to stay standing in the same place, and flail our arms around trying to catch what we can from the tornado. It's like spinning really fast and focussing on one thing.. the room just keeps spinning. Maybe life is more like that?
Regardless of if it is or not, life is all about the center. Our center. It's different for everyopne. I told the girls a while ago about an experience i had this summer while taking a jazz class. As we descended into a stratle split, as usual, we let our heads be heavy and rested out weight on our elbows. What a painful thing. But this time, i felt everything coming in through the tips of every extension off of me, and going out at the same speed. But all of it fed from and was fed to my center. I felt everything, deep inside me in those few minutes (not even.) And as the pain burned as a big fiery ball inside of me, i was comforted. I had a good friend named Kelly who is in college now. I'll never forget what she said once. She had made a similar realization.. and she said that all good things come from pain. This is debatable, but i certaintly felt it then.. But ahh, that is for another entry.
Another thing life is all about is ballance. Ballance is so unbelievably complicated that if it were to be a physical thing it could in no possible way every be placed down in a way where it would not tip. Not only is it enormous, it is also very intricate. But what happens if we find ballance in our lives? Are we ballanced enough to find ballance in the first place? I always found it interesting how few people can ballance with their eyes closed. I know girls with rock solid ballances at dance that cant stay aligned with their eyes shut for the life of them. Why? We need something to focus on. But when you apply that to real life, and stop using dance as a metaphor.. what could possibly be great enough to have such a huge effect on the proportions of your life?
That has a lot more questions then the center.. mostly becuase there is so much more for me to know that i have not even come across yet. The last thing is to relax. Another unbelievably complex thing what would be unable to relax itself if it were made man. But thats whats special ---- relaxation, as an idea noun, can never be put in physical form. Things or people can bring us relaxation, but whenever it is felt, it has not been given to one.. it has been evoked in them. we all have deep inside us (possibly in our center) a very calm, smooth power that is particularly fine.. Foreign at the same time, like warm water woven into something. It can be brought out at the most inopportune moments, like in the middle of a stretch, in a crowded hall, or in a flawlessly quiet room. But it's something you can't find by looking for it. It has to come out by it's own will, and can leave as briskly as it arrived.