(no subject)
I need to do my english. But.. I need to express myself
There has been such noticeable growth in everything around me that I can't help but reach out over it.. anywhere. Seeing how much everyone has developed, how the things around us have changed so much but also maintained their most defining qualities.. It makes me want to tell someone everything, it makes me want to tell everyone. Its like im standing at the highest point on earth and just staring up into oblivion.. I am so high yet but a bump on the tiny earth's surface to some far away void.. i want to see the world, stretched out before me like an enormous painting. I wish i could tell all of you how beautiful you are. I think there is something about seeing someone when they are meditating. like today, seeing people that are always laughing, or always looking angry, or sad, or just staring.. you can see this deep sense of self it in the way they hold themselves and in the way their mouths relax.. in my mind everything stems from the mouth, all emotions, everything we receive in some way is connected to the mouth. and when the mouth and the face is relaxed, the body cannot help but follow. I keep meaning to tell them to relax their mouths when theyre meditating..
Tonight dance was interesting. I so wish i didnt come home to a pile of homework. i could be so much deeper, a more developed, philosophical person if i could record everything i saw that day in my Livejournal, and how it made me feel.
One thing that makes me feel absolutely indescribable is watching someone dance a pattern with all of their soul. When every movement visibly articulates all the way through them.. ohh, it just hits a string in your heart and every movement they make flows through you. that is one of the things that i am so in awe of.
I wish i could see the development in myself as i have seen it in all these other things. I know i have a better erg score, my technique has improved both in crew and in dance, and in dance i am gaining more of my own personal style.. but peoplewise, i feel like i understand so little about myself. People often point out things about me that i never would have noticed.. and i am having trouble making simple choices. And so I'm trying to do everything at the same time and what it all comes down to is that im pefectly sane, calm, composed, and relaxed.. and so lost. I got lost a long time ago. I still think part of it has to do with that night on the dock, the last night at Sweetwater. So much happened that night, and i believe it was too much for me to grasp at that time.. I do believe once I understand why everything happened as it did in the order that it did, i will have found that bit of me that is shielded deep inside the walls of my thoughts and feelings.
+ or - ?
"I'm Lost and I love it" (the title of my journal) was forgotten a long time ago, for some reason..
Tennyson:
But what of that? My darken'd ways
Shall ring with music all the same;
To breathe my loss is more than fame,
To utter love more sweet than praise.
^^ And off I go to learn more about this character
There has been such noticeable growth in everything around me that I can't help but reach out over it.. anywhere. Seeing how much everyone has developed, how the things around us have changed so much but also maintained their most defining qualities.. It makes me want to tell someone everything, it makes me want to tell everyone. Its like im standing at the highest point on earth and just staring up into oblivion.. I am so high yet but a bump on the tiny earth's surface to some far away void.. i want to see the world, stretched out before me like an enormous painting. I wish i could tell all of you how beautiful you are. I think there is something about seeing someone when they are meditating. like today, seeing people that are always laughing, or always looking angry, or sad, or just staring.. you can see this deep sense of self it in the way they hold themselves and in the way their mouths relax.. in my mind everything stems from the mouth, all emotions, everything we receive in some way is connected to the mouth. and when the mouth and the face is relaxed, the body cannot help but follow. I keep meaning to tell them to relax their mouths when theyre meditating..
Tonight dance was interesting. I so wish i didnt come home to a pile of homework. i could be so much deeper, a more developed, philosophical person if i could record everything i saw that day in my Livejournal, and how it made me feel.
One thing that makes me feel absolutely indescribable is watching someone dance a pattern with all of their soul. When every movement visibly articulates all the way through them.. ohh, it just hits a string in your heart and every movement they make flows through you. that is one of the things that i am so in awe of.
I wish i could see the development in myself as i have seen it in all these other things. I know i have a better erg score, my technique has improved both in crew and in dance, and in dance i am gaining more of my own personal style.. but peoplewise, i feel like i understand so little about myself. People often point out things about me that i never would have noticed.. and i am having trouble making simple choices. And so I'm trying to do everything at the same time and what it all comes down to is that im pefectly sane, calm, composed, and relaxed.. and so lost. I got lost a long time ago. I still think part of it has to do with that night on the dock, the last night at Sweetwater. So much happened that night, and i believe it was too much for me to grasp at that time.. I do believe once I understand why everything happened as it did in the order that it did, i will have found that bit of me that is shielded deep inside the walls of my thoughts and feelings.
+ or - ?
"I'm Lost and I love it" (the title of my journal) was forgotten a long time ago, for some reason..
Tennyson:
But what of that? My darken'd ways
Shall ring with music all the same;
To breathe my loss is more than fame,
To utter love more sweet than praise.
^^ And off I go to learn more about this character