Sherlock freakin' Holmes
I love Sherlock Holmes; have since I was a kid. The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes was my entry into both adult fiction and the idea that “yes, you too can read the classics!” So, kinda defining stuff there.
And now Guy Ritchie is taking my childhood favorite and smashing it with a big, heavy rock.
The thing about Sherlock Holmes is that he embodies frustrated genius. He lives for puzzles. He has no use for actual police work because he literally has no interest in protecting and serving, all he wants to do is solve cases. He does drugs and acts up only when he lacks something interesting to work on. He also has no sex drive. Now, Watson, he’s got game (and over the course of the books, several wives,) but Holmes never shows any interest in a woman other than Irene Adler. And Irene only garners his admiration because she’s the one person who manages to best him on a case.
I mean, you want to make a movie about a hard drinking, womanizing Victorian, fine, just don’t call him Sherlock Holmes! Because, yes, Holmes did drugs and knew how to fight, but that doesn’t mean you should cast Robert Downey Jr. (and I love that wiggly little coked out puppy) as the cold, analytical genius that is the Great Detective. Granted, Jude Law looks great as Watson, but seriously. And, I saw the last two Guy Ritchie offerings, RocknRolla and Revolver, and they were two of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. (We're talking right up there was BloodRayne.)
Guy Ritchie's going to sodomize my Holmes and not in the slashfic way, but in the brutal prison way. Oh dear god, I know I’ll see it in theaters and I know it’ll be awful and I’ll be right back on livejournal whining about it. Sigh