Monogamy is Incurable
I think there's a lot of pressure in the kink world to be some flavor of poly, because that's what everyone else is doing, it's more enlightened, it broadens your horizons, only petty people have a problem with sharing or jealousy, etc.. If there's a couple at a munch or class, and in the course of introductions says, "My partner and I don't play/fuck/scene outside our relationship. We don't play with others.", I've heard people dismiss them as too vanilla, say they're deluding themselves, or say it's just a matter of time. Why is it ok to completely minimize what may essentially be how they primarily identify themselves?
There's a difference between a societal default in identifying as monogamous out of habit, taboo restrictions, or ignorance of choice, and an informed decision about how one chooses to engage in relationships with others. If the decision is made to identify as monogamous after seeing that poly is an option, and people still don't respect that decision, that really makes me think less of that person.
It should be ok to say, "I'm monogamous." without being questioned, laughed at, derided, judged, or dismissed.
There's a difference between a societal default in identifying as monogamous out of habit, taboo restrictions, or ignorance of choice, and an informed decision about how one chooses to engage in relationships with others. If the decision is made to identify as monogamous after seeing that poly is an option, and people still don't respect that decision, that really makes me think less of that person.
It should be ok to say, "I'm monogamous." without being questioned, laughed at, derided, judged, or dismissed.