(no subject)
Any remaining glimpse of hope and optimism in me should just die now. I don't know why it's still there. I just found out that it's going to be rather difficult to take a course I want because all of them are full. They are saying that my requests didn't arrive by the deadline, and they probably didn't, but they were postmarked by then and they said that that was all that was required. Fuck. You may think that I'm being dramatic, but seriously, I am going to immediately be stressed out with school doing things that I'm not good at and I hate. The purpose of the class isn't bad. It deals with environmental issues and causes of global warming and whatever. Of course I'm interested in all that stuff, but I just don't know if I'm smart enough to understand it or if I can manage to get decent grades in it without losing my mind. I'm so upset. Fuck. College may as well be highschool all over again, the way this is going. It doesn't matter how much I'm paying, I still have no say in my schedule. And I was really excited about the other things I signed up for. I hate 2005. I hate it and I have all along. The bad has definitely outweighed the good no matter what I tell myself, and seeing that my first semester will still be a part of this horrific year, it's only natural that it would follow this trend. It's bad enough that I haven't been happy surrounded by beautiful scenery and good people. Now I have to be unhappy repeating two subjects that are embarrasingly difficult for me surrounded by people I don't know. Ha. You'd never know from this entry that I had a really good day. No one cares anyway.