CT 72.7: "Hearts will never be practical, until they are made unbreakable."
One day when Sam comes home from a hunt, he brings her a bouquet of flowers.
She feels guilty later, when she remembers that her first thought when he'd walked in the door was that something was wrong. It's not that Sam isn't thoughtful. He is, in a certain way, but mostly, he's tired. He has been tired since long before she met him and will never get the rest he needs. Claire knows why he does it, and that's barely enough to keep her from trying to talk to him about it. Intentional physical torture made to look unintentional isn't something you bring up unless you're looking for a fight. Sometimes she wants to brave it, in spite of knowing how it would play out.
Her flowers, which are just a simple mix from a grocery store, sit in a vase in the kitchen for a long time. While they're alive, she enjoys looking at them when she cooks. She saves a small pink flower and presses it into a page of Wuthering Heights when she has to throw the rest of them away. Sam likes to act like his brother, but every once in a while he gives her glimpses into the person he was before Dean died. All of the stories he told her about Dean Winchester make him seem like the kind of guy who would never think to bring a girl flowers.
The longer he stays, the more she worries that he'll leave. It's not supposed to work that way, but she's become familiar enough with the way his mind works to make a guess at what could make him go. He gets to be himself with her sometimes, and he doesn't want that. Sam would like nothing more to believe that every good in him died with Dean. He holds onto the idea that if he takes on enough of his brother's personality, he can keep some piece of Dean's soul alive while he sacrifices his. There's no telling him that he can have it both ways; be who he wants to be for her, and still hold on to the person Dean was. The best she can do is make sure that she doesn't call attention to how he behaves. It involves playing stupid and keeping quiet - two things she has a hard time doing even when it's not so important, but she tries.
If she told him it felt like he was punishing her too sometimes, he'd say that she could do better. Maybe they both could, if they walked away. Claire isn't interested in that. They're past searching for 'better' and finding someone who can give them 'more'. It's been that way for her for a long time, but she can't speak for him. When he decides that he can't handle this, he'll want to go back to having less than he does now. Eventually, he's going to decide to go back to living alone. She knows that.
She still loves that he thought to get her flowers.
Patient: Claire Bennet
Fandom: Heroes
Word count: 505
Partner: notantichrist
She feels guilty later, when she remembers that her first thought when he'd walked in the door was that something was wrong. It's not that Sam isn't thoughtful. He is, in a certain way, but mostly, he's tired. He has been tired since long before she met him and will never get the rest he needs. Claire knows why he does it, and that's barely enough to keep her from trying to talk to him about it. Intentional physical torture made to look unintentional isn't something you bring up unless you're looking for a fight. Sometimes she wants to brave it, in spite of knowing how it would play out.
Her flowers, which are just a simple mix from a grocery store, sit in a vase in the kitchen for a long time. While they're alive, she enjoys looking at them when she cooks. She saves a small pink flower and presses it into a page of Wuthering Heights when she has to throw the rest of them away. Sam likes to act like his brother, but every once in a while he gives her glimpses into the person he was before Dean died. All of the stories he told her about Dean Winchester make him seem like the kind of guy who would never think to bring a girl flowers.
The longer he stays, the more she worries that he'll leave. It's not supposed to work that way, but she's become familiar enough with the way his mind works to make a guess at what could make him go. He gets to be himself with her sometimes, and he doesn't want that. Sam would like nothing more to believe that every good in him died with Dean. He holds onto the idea that if he takes on enough of his brother's personality, he can keep some piece of Dean's soul alive while he sacrifices his. There's no telling him that he can have it both ways; be who he wants to be for her, and still hold on to the person Dean was. The best she can do is make sure that she doesn't call attention to how he behaves. It involves playing stupid and keeping quiet - two things she has a hard time doing even when it's not so important, but she tries.
If she told him it felt like he was punishing her too sometimes, he'd say that she could do better. Maybe they both could, if they walked away. Claire isn't interested in that. They're past searching for 'better' and finding someone who can give them 'more'. It's been that way for her for a long time, but she can't speak for him. When he decides that he can't handle this, he'll want to go back to having less than he does now. Eventually, he's going to decide to go back to living alone. She knows that.
She still loves that he thought to get her flowers.
Patient: Claire Bennet
Fandom: Heroes
Word count: 505
Partner: notantichrist