(no subject)
i'm suriving [just barely surviving]. it feels like forever. but i'm doing alright. and i know that you never really loved me; you told me so yourself. whether i believe you or not, that's a different story. and this battle with myself has finally ended. this spark has turned into a raging fire and i'm glad i finally realize the truth between all the lies. maybe it was just me? i'm worn out to my wits end, and i can't wait to just take a flight on out of here. good-bye. good-bye. and i'd write you off. if only it were that easy. and i want to stop writing everything about you. but your such a damn good inspiration. i knew you'd finally come in handy for something. besides it's not like anyone reads these words anyway. written for peace. i'm laying down on needles. feeling the pricks inside my veins. it reminds me of you. oh how you torture me. and my writings aren't even about anything anymore. they are slowly becoming stupid commercialized shit in my head and i need to change the channel. i've analyzed this too much. fuck. she's a fucking bitch for what she does. and i'm worse for not doing anything. but it isn't my place. it isn't my place, and i'll keep telling myself that. and i'm gone. who cares. i'll take a sip of rum to numb myself. i'll close my eyes, and count to ten as the tears fall down my face. i'll become a mess as you watch me fall. your never there when i need you the most. your never there. i hate you for it. but i still love you. such a ridiculous relationship. and i'm all tied up. i'm fighting my way through. finally making it out alive without you. and without you, i'm doing just that, i'm surving [just barely].