(no subject)
[mood| 
morose]
[music| Sweet November Rain//Guns n Roses]
Ohh, I got new shirts! New shirts, I love new shirts. Just some long-sleeved t-shirts. Because I've recently lost a good amount of weight, so I had to get rid of (ie donate) a lot of my old clothes. So I needed new ones. Still haven't gotten any jeans though, except for one pair. Even though my jeans are really big. It's just that jeans are more expensive than shirts. :/
My father offered to pay for my car. Well, at least part of it. And I don't know how I feel about that. I feel a bit like a hypocrite.
Because I don't like, I don't like who he is and who he pretends to be. I don't get along with him, I don't really have a relationship with him. But I'll take his money?
I mean, it's not like it's not owed to me. He hasn't paid a cent for my college, for anything of mine since my parents split 5 years ago. Nothing.
Should I let him do it? 'Cause I really don't have the money for it. And I don't want him to lord it over me. "Oh, you can't say that, I paid for your car." Because if that's the case, I won't.
And my mother wants to have a mini-Christmas before I go away to Europe. And she wants to invite him. I don't want him to come. I feel very uncomfortable when he's around. I think she would too, but she's willing to try it. Why aren't I?
I don't want him to meet The Boy. That's the last thing in the world I want. I'll get so pissed off if he tries to pull the protective father shit. Because he has no right. I don't care if it's starting to hit him that his children don't want to talk to him and he'll end up alone when he's old. He hasn't taken an interest in me in 5 years.
I don't know. I hate anybody I know meeting my father. Because then I'm always so afraid it'll influence the way they think about me. I'm nothing like him. Nothing. I'm scared I will be, though.
morose]
[music| Sweet November Rain//Guns n Roses]
Ohh, I got new shirts! New shirts, I love new shirts. Just some long-sleeved t-shirts. Because I've recently lost a good amount of weight, so I had to get rid of (ie donate) a lot of my old clothes. So I needed new ones. Still haven't gotten any jeans though, except for one pair. Even though my jeans are really big. It's just that jeans are more expensive than shirts. :/
My father offered to pay for my car. Well, at least part of it. And I don't know how I feel about that. I feel a bit like a hypocrite.
Because I don't like, I don't like who he is and who he pretends to be. I don't get along with him, I don't really have a relationship with him. But I'll take his money?
I mean, it's not like it's not owed to me. He hasn't paid a cent for my college, for anything of mine since my parents split 5 years ago. Nothing.
Should I let him do it? 'Cause I really don't have the money for it. And I don't want him to lord it over me. "Oh, you can't say that, I paid for your car." Because if that's the case, I won't.
And my mother wants to have a mini-Christmas before I go away to Europe. And she wants to invite him. I don't want him to come. I feel very uncomfortable when he's around. I think she would too, but she's willing to try it. Why aren't I?
I don't want him to meet The Boy. That's the last thing in the world I want. I'll get so pissed off if he tries to pull the protective father shit. Because he has no right. I don't care if it's starting to hit him that his children don't want to talk to him and he'll end up alone when he's old. He hasn't taken an interest in me in 5 years.
I don't know. I hate anybody I know meeting my father. Because then I'm always so afraid it'll influence the way they think about me. I'm nothing like him. Nothing. I'm scared I will be, though.