Another trying time.
He is now out of jail and able to attempt contact with me. I'm doing surprisingly well at being strong. What helps is my oldest daughter is here and my baby girl is back. Nothing makes you strong as love of family.
All I want is to get his stuff out of here and wash my hands of the whole thing. I keep remembering the good times, but then remembering all of the bad times too. There were a lot of bad times. More than I've ever experienced in my lifetime. It was always one bad thing after another. I think the man is seriously jinxed.
So the whiny story is that he has not want to drink anymore. He knows he fucked up and will accept what I decide. Yet he keeps sending me messages that he loves me and he's sorry, yada-yada. Don't wanna hear it. I'll give you your shit.
No, you don't get the damn car. No, you can't have the pug. You're lucky I'm nice enough to give you back your clothes, movies and computer. I could have called Goodwill and had them pick up the whole lot. But I'm not that mean. I have a conscience. I just want my life back. My HAPPY life back with all the friends that you alienated with your drunken actions. The life where I always had a smile on my face. You can't give me that. You don't make me happy anymore. The words you have said over the years still stick in my brain. My eye is still purple from the blow you dealt me. I will not live in fear of when you will take your next drink. Of the next time you decide to berate my past. I can't take the chance of you turning on Emily. I just can't.
I'd like to think we can eventually hang out as friends, but at this point I don't know if I can do that. Your life has been all about the good times and drinking. Mine is about my kids. My family. My friends. If for some God-forsaken reason I ever ended up in jail, I'd have at least 10 people there to bail me out because I haven't even come close to exhausting all my options. You have. Your are so close to the bottom that you could reach down and touch it. But I don't think you're quite there yet. You will keep spiraling until you kill yourself or drink yourself to death. I don't want to be around watching that happen. I don't want Emily to be around watching that happen.
Life goes on. Relationships begin, relationships end. Ours has ended. Deal with it and move on. Don't try to make me feel guilty about my decision.
Enough said for now.
All I want is to get his stuff out of here and wash my hands of the whole thing. I keep remembering the good times, but then remembering all of the bad times too. There were a lot of bad times. More than I've ever experienced in my lifetime. It was always one bad thing after another. I think the man is seriously jinxed.
So the whiny story is that he has not want to drink anymore. He knows he fucked up and will accept what I decide. Yet he keeps sending me messages that he loves me and he's sorry, yada-yada. Don't wanna hear it. I'll give you your shit.
No, you don't get the damn car. No, you can't have the pug. You're lucky I'm nice enough to give you back your clothes, movies and computer. I could have called Goodwill and had them pick up the whole lot. But I'm not that mean. I have a conscience. I just want my life back. My HAPPY life back with all the friends that you alienated with your drunken actions. The life where I always had a smile on my face. You can't give me that. You don't make me happy anymore. The words you have said over the years still stick in my brain. My eye is still purple from the blow you dealt me. I will not live in fear of when you will take your next drink. Of the next time you decide to berate my past. I can't take the chance of you turning on Emily. I just can't.
I'd like to think we can eventually hang out as friends, but at this point I don't know if I can do that. Your life has been all about the good times and drinking. Mine is about my kids. My family. My friends. If for some God-forsaken reason I ever ended up in jail, I'd have at least 10 people there to bail me out because I haven't even come close to exhausting all my options. You have. Your are so close to the bottom that you could reach down and touch it. But I don't think you're quite there yet. You will keep spiraling until you kill yourself or drink yourself to death. I don't want to be around watching that happen. I don't want Emily to be around watching that happen.
Life goes on. Relationships begin, relationships end. Ours has ended. Deal with it and move on. Don't try to make me feel guilty about my decision.
Enough said for now.