theatrical_muse #6: Lost
"The true magic of this broken world lay in the ability of the things it contained to vanish, to become so thoroughly lost, that they might never have existed in the first place."
It's been awhile since she's used the magicks. There's been little need while she's been away. She needed time to find herself - the old Willow. However, there's this fine line - well, several fine lines, really, in the history lesson of Willow Rosenberg that she doesn't want to cross. She's sitting now, with an open spellbook, twitching fingers, vaguely remembering the lines.
She doesn't know exactly when she lost herself. She imagines some of it is still from the wounds from Tara's death - she's never been the same since then. But, there was the first trip to England, the trip back, the Potentials, the almost-end-of-the-world - well, the definate end of Sunnydale anyway. There was plenty to stay busy with. There was Kennedy to, and at that point, the beginning of new Willow hit hard and fast. Once she helped make all the Slayers, she got caught up in all the new and shiny. That's where the lines got blurry, somewhere in the time she spent traveling around the world, finding new slayers and losing Kennedy along the way. And, once she lost Kennedy, she was left with just new Willow, and she didn't really like that. So, she left for awhile, took an extended hiatus from the life, the universe, and everything because she couldn't make the answer of 42 fit. She took some much needed time and space.
But, when she came back, the old Willow wasn't there. She was just Willow, plain and tall, except not really tall, but still. She settled back into her apartment with the security of Xander down the hall - of course, he isn't really old Xander anymore, since he's with Amy, who is kind and funny and perfect for him really. She updated her contacts, called a few people, even put out a few resumes. But, then she got an email from Dawn - her little, Dawnie - and found out she was living in a questionable apartment by herself. That kicked the fundamentals of Willow back into gear because there's no way she was letting her Dawnie live alone with all the evils of LA going bump in the night. BUt, after moving Dawnie in, there was a sudden, random discovery the Key has magick - telekenetic, useful magick at that, which made her feel bad all over again for that one time while high on the magicks she threatened to turn Dawnie back into a ball of engery. But, now she's got someone to love and protect again, someone from the somewhat good old days, and that's enough to her to find the bits of Willow that got lost along the way.
It's been awhile since she's used the magicks. There's been little need while she's been away. She needed time to find herself - the old Willow. However, there's this fine line - well, several fine lines, really, in the history lesson of Willow Rosenberg that she doesn't want to cross. She's sitting now, with an open spellbook, twitching fingers, vaguely remembering the lines.
She doesn't know exactly when she lost herself. She imagines some of it is still from the wounds from Tara's death - she's never been the same since then. But, there was the first trip to England, the trip back, the Potentials, the almost-end-of-the-world - well, the definate end of Sunnydale anyway. There was plenty to stay busy with. There was Kennedy to, and at that point, the beginning of new Willow hit hard and fast. Once she helped make all the Slayers, she got caught up in all the new and shiny. That's where the lines got blurry, somewhere in the time she spent traveling around the world, finding new slayers and losing Kennedy along the way. And, once she lost Kennedy, she was left with just new Willow, and she didn't really like that. So, she left for awhile, took an extended hiatus from the life, the universe, and everything because she couldn't make the answer of 42 fit. She took some much needed time and space.
But, when she came back, the old Willow wasn't there. She was just Willow, plain and tall, except not really tall, but still. She settled back into her apartment with the security of Xander down the hall - of course, he isn't really old Xander anymore, since he's with Amy, who is kind and funny and perfect for him really. She updated her contacts, called a few people, even put out a few resumes. But, then she got an email from Dawn - her little, Dawnie - and found out she was living in a questionable apartment by herself. That kicked the fundamentals of Willow back into gear because there's no way she was letting her Dawnie live alone with all the evils of LA going bump in the night. BUt, after moving Dawnie in, there was a sudden, random discovery the Key has magick - telekenetic, useful magick at that, which made her feel bad all over again for that one time while high on the magicks she threatened to turn Dawnie back into a ball of engery. But, now she's got someone to love and protect again, someone from the somewhat good old days, and that's enough to her to find the bits of Willow that got lost along the way.