Pensive Times
You know, there are times when I wonder about the why and the what of relationship trials and tribulations. I regularly consider those who've passed through my life - those who've come and gone for whatever reason. There was a time when the leaving really bothered me. I took it personally; I ruminated over the why/why not of it all.
Finally (I hope), I have a different, if not better, understanding of the process. I rarely look back with regret anymore. No, wait - I may be wistful of what could've been but, for the most part, I lament lost opportunity more than anything. I know that people come and go. I know, now, that sometimes we come together for purposes, events, experiences, that are meant to be short term. I know, now, that we often arrange these meetings at times before we embark on this plane in this lifetime. These meetings are more strategic and planned that seems possible or probable, sometimes.
I value, no, treasure, those that are long-lasting but also, I recognize the gifts inherent in the short relationships. In all these interactions there are lessons. In them all, there are benefits. Sure, there are losses and tears - but, those are short term.
I've learned to look back with love and peace. Yes, it sounds so 'Pollyanna,' doesn't it? It is healing and joy that I wish to all who've passed through, regardless of how they've left. We've had lessons to learn - many of them painful and long-lasting - but, lessons just the same. The harder the trial, the deeper the lesson and the less likely the need to experience it again.
There is a Buddhist saying that to truly learn a lesson we must 'seek the headwaters of the river of pain.' In doing this, in taking the hard road, in truly looking deep into the mirror - we learn. We are not doomed to repeat the lessons. This works. It is painful, it is terrifying, and it is spot on.
So much pain comes from resistance. Think of when you have physical pain such as a headache; some of the discomfort comes from muscle tension in trying to resist the pain. When we are able to relax and let the pain flow, it subsides. Such is the pain of experience.
Finally (I hope), I have a different, if not better, understanding of the process. I rarely look back with regret anymore. No, wait - I may be wistful of what could've been but, for the most part, I lament lost opportunity more than anything. I know that people come and go. I know, now, that sometimes we come together for purposes, events, experiences, that are meant to be short term. I know, now, that we often arrange these meetings at times before we embark on this plane in this lifetime. These meetings are more strategic and planned that seems possible or probable, sometimes.
I value, no, treasure, those that are long-lasting but also, I recognize the gifts inherent in the short relationships. In all these interactions there are lessons. In them all, there are benefits. Sure, there are losses and tears - but, those are short term.
I've learned to look back with love and peace. Yes, it sounds so 'Pollyanna,' doesn't it? It is healing and joy that I wish to all who've passed through, regardless of how they've left. We've had lessons to learn - many of them painful and long-lasting - but, lessons just the same. The harder the trial, the deeper the lesson and the less likely the need to experience it again.
There is a Buddhist saying that to truly learn a lesson we must 'seek the headwaters of the river of pain.' In doing this, in taking the hard road, in truly looking deep into the mirror - we learn. We are not doomed to repeat the lessons. This works. It is painful, it is terrifying, and it is spot on.
So much pain comes from resistance. Think of when you have physical pain such as a headache; some of the discomfort comes from muscle tension in trying to resist the pain. When we are able to relax and let the pain flow, it subsides. Such is the pain of experience.